Bearing yourself during change can be one of the biggest challenges. You are neither here nor there.
You can’t see big changes and results yet and the small ones are hard to notice plus your self-sabotage has a way of beating down on you so much so that it completely undermines what you have accomplished.
Self-saboteur says its either end goal or nothing.
So, you conclude: it’s nothing.
And your saboteur won.
One of the reasons why a good coach or mentor is so needed and helpful is to stop you from sabotaging yourself during the period of change, to hold the space for truly objective truth that anyone but you can see, and to add context to your evaluation making it subjective too. Context and subjectivity are important because the real truth about your progress can only be seen if you evaluate yourself not against your ultimate mega goal but against your starting point.
This is where saboteur wins if you are alone.
He convinces you that all had the same starting point or that starting points don’t matter, and then all you can evaluate yourself against is others who most often didn’t have it as hard as you did, and others who are different in capacity, desire and orientation.
And then it’s apples and oranges. And you lose.
Saboteur wants you to lose because losing kept you safe in childhood and got you your needs met.
If you didn’t fight or provoke your caretakers by doing well or standing out and didn’t remind them what losers they are and how much they settled, you were safe.
And for a dependent child that was paramount. So, you did extremely well by losing. That was a super-smart strategy to survive. And you keep using it now, and not connecting the dots to see that the strategy is not useful any longer.
The moment you realize that key insight, which is the breakthrough point in my coaching sessions, you easily let go of it replacing it with a more beneficial and empowering tactic.
Your body knowledge is tapped into the Divine, and the moment I remove that past fog that’s keeping you stuck, you start speaking and manifesting truth.
It just can’t be any other way. That is how we are set up. But without that tailored support, you will be going one step forward and two steps back.
I have done it both by attempting to prove I can do it alone cos I am a coach and mentor and “I don’t need help”, and also by selecting unhelpful help.
Yes, that can and does happen.
If you were forced and terrorized by rigid autocratic parents, it’s very possible you will select similar coaches and mentors. And this will add to your pain.
I know, it sucks.
However, you are inherently doing everything right because your inner being has a breaking point, and it is at that breaking point when everything seems to be closing down on you that you will say ENOUGH.
This is when the Portal opens.