In today’s technologically advanced world, people have high expectations of others and view people who are less assertive or even less aggressive as weak. Sadly, even children have adopted this view and so they prey on other children they perceive as weak and subject them to bullying.
Fear is a natural part of the human makeup, thus every individual has a measure of fear within. Fear can be a good thing because it warns you of danger and keeps you alert to situations that may not have a beneficial outcome.
The challenge is how you handle your fears. Do they serve to protect you, or do they paralyze you? The outcome depends on whether you take control or allow fear to control you. While it can be difficult to face your fears head on, you can make an effort to deal with them to the extent you’re able to. For example, if you are concerned about your job performance, rather than folding your hands and giving in to despair, take action. Start looking for ways to improve your performance and uplevel your skills.
If you feel unable to make decisions, it could be that you lack confidence in your abilities, or just in yourself.
Start with seeking to identify the cause of your lack of confidence. It may be deeply rooted and may take some time to drill down and identify. Sometimes a simple remark by someone in authority can erode years of self-confidence. Generally, there were underlying issues that were not addressed.
“Once a limiting belief is triggered and activated, your outlook changes. You see everything through a new filter. You look for validation daily that you aren’t smart enough. And of course, you will always find something that confirms this belief.”
Ways to Overcome Fear and Lack of Confidence
You can get help from a coach or mentor, or even a good friend. Yet there are many ways that you can start helping yourself to increase your level of confidence so you become more fearless.
1) Start reading books that address the reasons for lack of self-confidence and give you strategies on how to boost your confidence.
2) Many people use affirmations in the present tense and say them aloud daily in front of a mirror. For this to be effective, you have to believe the affirmations you’re repeating.
3) Change your physiology. This involves changing your structure – how you stand, how you sit. Stand in a way that suggests you feel you’re powerful with shoulders back and head up. Avoid slouching. Look people in the eye with a steady gaze as opposed to a gaze that avoids eye-contact and looks everywhere but at the person to whom you’re speaking.
4) Movement is also a part of your physiology and can be a dead giveaway that you’re either confident or you lack confidence.
✅ Lift your feet when you walk rather than dragging your feet on the ground. Walk with firm, long strides, as is comfortable for you.
✅ Develop steady, well-paced motions rather than short, jerky movements.
✅ When you start to feel more confident others will also see you as more confident.
✅ Be careful that as you work on conquering your fears and building your self-confidence, you do not expect rapid changes and transformation in a short time.
✅ Do things that take you out of your comfort zone and push your limits gradually.
By adopting this method, you will slowly gain confidence. In addition, your convictions and beliefs will be stronger and this will help you become a more successful person.
There is nothing wrong with having any type of fear. You just do not want this fear to overtake your life and stop you from achieving what you’re capable of. Instead, set yourself small challenges which will help you overcome fear and allow you to lead the life you really want to with confidence and fearlessness.