How The Negative Thinker Became My Friend

I had an interesting discovery years ago about what some call The Monkey Mind or The Negative Thinker. We probably all know him. The one that keeps on repeating over and over what someone has said that triggered us, or the sudden thoughts that arise like “He probably doesn’t love me”… “I’m not good enough as an artist, woman, lover”

I knew him very, very well, and hated his guts.

Determined to get rid of my shadow, I visited a hypnotherapist. There everything changed…

The hypnotherapist asked me what The Prophet of Doom looked like.
– “It is a man, with black clothes and a black hat, I answered gloomy and grumpy.”

“You want him out of your life, am I right?”, she asked.
“Hell yeah”, I answered.

“Can you thank him?” she asked.
I thought she had become mental.
“Thank him? I hate his guts! He makes me feel horrible” I exclaimed angry, not yet aware of my own power.

“Well, if you want his cooperation to leave, I don’t think he will listen the way you are right now. Let’s talk with him a little bit. See if we can get some answers”, she suggested.

We asked him when he arrived into my life and why.

“I came into your life when you were 4 years old. Your kid sister was born, remember?”
His voice was actually very warm and tender when he spoke back.

“Prior to her birth, your mom had to go to the hospital for a few days. You were very ill as you had the three child diseases Measles, Mumps, and Rubell all at the same time. As it was dangerous for the newborn baby, you had to stay in your room.”

The memory that I had stored far away in my subconscious mind popped up. I saw myself looking through the window seeing the ambulance arrive with my mom and the new baby.
I heard them come up the stairs, going into the bedroom of my parents. My dad was there, the midwife, the doctor. And in the coming days friends and family came by to see the baby. I heard the voices but had to stay in my room.

“I thought you could use a friend”, The Prophet of Doom said softly.

Did I imagine it or did he seem hurt by my hostility earlier towards him?

The hypnotherapist noticed it and asked: “See what I meant with thank him?”

I looked at him with compassion and felt my anger disappear.

“Can you thank him now?” the therapist asked again. “He has been with you for so long”

I was silent for a little while, then turned to him and said:
“Thank you Prophet, I see now you came to be with me.
To protect me from harm. You meant well.”

The Prophet of Doom smiled a little shy.
– “I think you deserve a well long vacation, or better yet, retire my friend.
You have been with me for so long and worked hard. You deserve it!”

“Are you sure?” he asked. “But then you will be alone again?”
– “You can go now Prophet. Honestly, I will be fine. Enjoy your time.”

The idea of palm trees and a beach in the winter made him smile.

The therapists helped me a little by saying: “Maybe you can ask him to send a friend?”
– “Eh Prophet?”

“Yes dear”
– “If it will make you feel better, maybe you can send me your friend Faith instead?” I asked.

“I sure can!” he smiled, happy he could be a help.

The Prophet and I hugged and then he walked away. Looking back one more time, winking at me.

Now years later I can say he still visits me from time to time. But not as much as it was before. Then I smile at him. Thank him for reminding me I always have a friend by my side and turn back to Faith. A gorgeous guy by the way who holds me in his strong arms 😉

As a thank you, I made a song for The Negative Thinker. Nowadays I call him “Johnny” 😉

Love,
Eyra 💋