How does it feel? How does it feel to be without a home with no direction home? Like a complete unknown. Like a rolling stone.
–Like A Rolling Stone – Bob Dylan.
When mighty winds blow through the cracks in your window panes that eerily echoes throughout the empty room that send shivers down your spine as you are alone with your hurt. A heart once so filled with love is suddenly broken. When joy is just a memory. You can hear all and touch all but no tender loving touch is there to be given back.
Each new day is wrought with an abundance of no. Nothing seems good or right anymore. You have fallen into the depths of despondency with nobody waiting to pull you out. That is how the hurting feels. You are alone now. You are surrounded by make-believe people who do not know that you know what they really are. This is what life has been reduced to. Each cause has an effect while each effect has a cause but are they are yours to keep if you want them. To need is to want while wanting is not for the need.
Physically fine you may be but the pain is all around. It lurks behind every corner waiting to claim you for all its own. There isn’t a door without a creek you can walk through with cobwebs dangling from them cradling themselves into your unwashed matted hair for you to escape from your whole-owned hurt. You care not of how you look in your shredded urine stained clothes that wreak from a deadly consortium of stenches. What you have perceived of yourself is not the reality of the physical person but nonetheless, this is how the hurting feels.
Did you give a dam about that person YOU kicked down the crooked street casting his dignity asunder as where he is now will soon be where you are? A world too big to care as it has better things to do with its time than become betrothed on to you. Bloodthirsty masses lusted after you clinging to your every sneer of unrighteous discourse you espoused. But now the shoemakers’ unfinished shoe with soles not yet sewn are fixtures on your feet. You didn’t know how the hurting felt but now my friend you do. Now my friend you do!
How does this hurting feel when you have nothing but hurt to feast upon? See the sores from the open wounds oozing unceasingly. Who might not have noticed in the darkness of night the disparaging plight of a man who can never be again or a woman left lonely from an empty womb? Not the words from the mouth that matters which don’t really matter anyhow. It shalt be those words from a ne’er-do-well are only those that will matter most.
What is it for the longing to be cherished, cared for and loved that eludes you now. It once existed. It can exist again. Your empathy has been courted to give sympathy to the orchestras of the needy to put them on the mend. How can it be left to a person to live alone so he could die by himself alone? Can it be tried to disrupt this almost pre-determined destiny so the hurt can set forth on its way clear to not hurt anymore? Help let the hurt not hurt anyone anymore.
Life orbits in and around itself often showing just one side as does the moon as it revolves around the earth and the earth around the sun. The valleys of life can have craters deeper than any on the moon. How we hold to the respecting of those around us as well as those who live within us so shall be what may become of some us. Lifeless is the shadows of the moon while lifeless may lay the hurting who have been hunted down who are henceforth hunkered down. Walk-up take a look with your own steely cold blue eyes wide open peek behind the dilated pupils so as to stare into the vacuum that exists but remember “It’s funny when you get that close, it’s kind of hard to hate.”-The Night That Made America Famous-Harry Chapin. You don’t know what you’ve seen until you’ve seen it. You don’t know what you’ve felt until you’ve really felt it. You do not know what is you know until you’ve gotten to know it.
When we let go of life we let go of that which is most precious. There are hands wrinkled with age though they may be but the strength of determination to help you hold on they will extend outward to you to pull you out of the sewer you were living in. These are the people from the other side of life. They breathe air brimming with sunshine. They exhale the exuberance of being alive with the lives of the living.
We do not live in a comfy cocoon that is a utopian society. Nor is the Age of Aquarius a reality that will ever be. Hurting is from hurt inflicted by others, circumstances or you yourself. Hurting tells you something is wrong albeit in absentia of an all-encompassing fix it manually. The author of such is not in existence. None amongst us can say they have never experienced hurt or the feelings it provokes. Living in denial of ever having been hurt or to of felt the sting from its tentacles is living a life of lies. Liars who know of only lies will likely victimize others to give the legitimacy they desperately need for themselves.
Torrential rains will fall. Snow squalls will obliterate everything from your sight. Lighting as if shot from a bow and arrow will cut through trees like butter. Blasts of thunder will shake you to tremble while uprooting your foundation. These are the reverberations from the revolt of those who know only of hurt inspired by others. What else would we expect of them? The fiery furnaces that burned within them have now erupted into black volcanic ashes. If only this could be averted. From the homeless man, the barren woman, legions of scorned lovers, animals left to die to in forests or on slabs of concrete with no tombstone to prove they existed as they will all one day lay restlessly beneath the earth. In possession of what above could be would, you now dare to destroy a dream of a someone who has nothing else to hope for or turn to for the relief.
“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed-to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
–The Statue of Liberty Poem.
This is still a powerful story Joel.
Thank you, Larry
Joel, this story tells of an inner pain and hurt that reverberates throughout history. Something that goes deep, yearning to be set free. Your writing pulls us in to walk with you as you express the feelings tugging you at the time. Seems what you present calls to those who have a desire to be relieved of pain, hurt and at times wanting justice. Life has it’s own agenda sometimes, and it can be difficult to understand the “why” in experiences. Perhaps there is a group consciousness that is yearning for what you bring through the written word for a greater purpose. I am sure your stories inspire some to find compassion for the self where they can heal and move forward in life adding just a little bit more joy and happiness. Wishing you the best!
Thank you, Eileen, for the time you deeply devoted to reading my article. Hurt or pain is something few of us have not felt in this life. I put my own feelings or experiences that elicit certain feelings from me but also as you so eloquently wrote “Perhaps there is a group consciousness that is yearning for what you bring through the written word for a greater purpose. I am sure your stories inspire some to find compassion for the self where they can heal and move forward in life adding just a little bit more joy and happiness.”
You are welcome Joel!
Beautiful but sad. Perhaps you will write about the friends that love and care for you. The joy you have for music and the inspiration you find in a good story. Indeed life can be brutal yet joy abides within you
Larry, thank you for the compliment and of course your readership. Much has happened in life with some events, tragic, stressful, mistakes, etc. By the same token, there have been many triumphs (walking again and seeing again), etc. I do not plan to write an article about a particular theme or feel to it. I have had articles pop into my head sitting down to eat, walking around, coming out of the bathroom. One article came to me while I was searching around in the middle of the night for a bottle of Grape Juice that would be needed the next day. This was not a sad occasion by any stretch of the imagination. I watched a concert given by John Denver in which he told a story about when he was on a mountain top in Aspen, Colorado preparing for his flight down the slope. Out of nowhere, a song came to him and he had to race down the mountain to get to his car. He then raced home to write this song which became a hit for him. The song was Poems, Prayers, and Promises. Bruce Springsteen has written songs about suicide as has Leonard Cohen and Phil Ochs as I am sure others have Many singer/songwriters have this same process. The nights where I am up late I am either working or watching people like George Carlin or reruns of All In The Family. I laugh quite hardily. This is my process crazy as it may sound.
Dark and passionate Joel. Your writing gets stronger everytime I read it. Hope you’re well. Sorry about the Stones, maybe Mick will recover. Kinda hard to do Street Fighting Men @75. J
Joel, part of seeing the courage in a man is recognizing the twisted pain within his soul. You have opened that door in this work and revealed the many demons that we all have inside and wrestle with daily. Please know that you have a friend in me who too has towers of conquest yet to climb and understands completely how that empty hole within your spirit can burn like the fires of hell . Open the window and let the fresh air quench the smoldering coals because you are not just a suburb writer but a good man as well.
Johnny
Johnny,
Thank you for your comments. Coming from you makes them even more special. I am not quite sure where the dark sounding tones of my articles come from. This is a very difficult time in my life where a decision that will affect the rest of my life must be made sooner or later. In general, I am only the typist as these articles write themselves in my head and I just transfer them.
A collage of feelings, dark images and I feel this is not one story but many held in then finally unleashed. Poe was a dark poet and I too have been known to be dark at times but you must remember to open the curtails, crack the window and embrace the light, the warmth and the inspiration of life’s goodness. Friend’s care even when we feel alone they are there waiting to seen.
You write with great passion and intensity Joel, like a man sincerely seeking answers. Have you ever read “The Road Less Travelled” by M Scott Peck. I have bought it six times, and given it away six times, to people who found it immensely illuminating. There are of course many other good books, but I think you will find this one special.
Thank you, Andre, for the compliment as well about the book. I write from feelings not necessarily of things that have happened to me in life. I can’t remember the last time I read a book. You are a very wise man with expertise in things I cannot begin to comprehend but there’s is so much to your writing. Dylan Thomas (whom Bob Dylan stole his stage name from) wrote a poem called The Road Not Taken seems to mirror the book you mentioned. This poem is my favorite poem of all time. It has so much in there that reminds me of the constant wondering that I do as to what my life would look like today had I made (or make) different decisions.
Thanks Joel – you are very kind. The great poets always convey great wisdom – my personal favourite is T S Eliot (in particular “Four Quartets”.
I am in full agreement
I am in full agreement about poets. The music I listen to is ripe with poetry. You are more than welcome regarding my comment.
No one ever promised us life would be a rose garden and we have to learn to take the good with the bad. Lovely story, Joel, a bit sad but certainly contained a lot of truth.
Sandy, nothing if you think about it is guaranteed in this life. I could not agree more that you have to live with the good and the bad as there will be both. Thank you, Sandy, for your insights not to mention taking the time to read my article.
I always enjoy your articles, Joel, I think you are a terrific writer. Many are a bit sad, but life certainly does have sadness in it and recognizing that and dealing with it is very important for all of us.
Sandy,
Thank you for your exceptionally kind compliment. Many of my articles originate (remember I am only the typist as these articles write themselves in my head) from past experiences, current life events, or just a reflection of how I am feeling at that time. Your observances of my articles show how astute you are.
thank you, Joel. Again, I think you tell great stories and they are generally VERY moving, too. Enjoy the rest of your week. Mine is VERY busy…..coaching sessions, workshops and today I wrote 5 blogs (3 for Bizcatalyst360 and 2 for my website) and I shopped because Saturday we are having another dinner party……so late in the week I will be prepping for that.
First, I love Jim Croce ( a good soul of a man, gone way too soon), and this article is heartfelt. I will be sharing this with others who are not on bizcatalyst. Blessings.
Lynn,
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my article. I have taken to this personal style of writing which seems to resonate with many readers in addition to them finding some of their feelings or experiences to be the same. I am quite touched by the fact you are going to be sharing this article with others that you know. Of greatest importance to me is the friendship we share not to mention the compassion, concern and support you have given me.