How Much is Too Much?

“You care too much.”

What exactly does that mean? I ask myself that each time someone says it to me or about me. My logical mind asks, what is it that they see that has made them come to the conclusion that I am caring excessively. Is it the sadness they see when I see others being treated poorly, and I am unable to ease their pain? Is it the anger they see when injustices of the world continue to go unchecked? Is it the withdrawal from those that surround me because it has all become too much to bear?

I ask because the statement seems to be more about the person who speaks it than the one that they are speaking about. I ponder that perhaps they do not care enough, and if they did, those things that are affecting me would not be the burden of those of us that do care. I ponder the fact that arguments and disagreements stem from caring about something; otherwise, why argue? I consider those that believe in something so strongly that they are willing to fight, sometimes to the other person’s death, is perhaps caring too much about that specific something.

So when I retreat or am sad because of the current state of the human condition, I’m not sure it should be classified that I care too much.

We all show our feelings in different ways. We are all sensitive to others. Perhaps my sadness is my way of expressing the disappointment of what I see as the steady decline of general human decency.

I could argue the name-calling and general disregard for those that are not exactly like you is caring too much too. It’s just that your caring brings on pain to others where mine remains internal. If my caring too much is of a bother to you, perhaps you should stop being cruel to others. Perhaps you should begin to look inward as to what you are doing that is bringing pain to many. The name-calling and “US” and “THEM” speak needs to end. WE need to pull together and realize that we all care in some way. For those that do not care, they might want to give it a try and assess if their behavior is hurting those that surround them. Are they making life better for all, or have they only considered those that they do not ridicule?

So yes, when someone says I care too much, my response will be thank you. It shows I am a sensitive person that cares about others. If we really believe that is a problem, perhaps we need to start asking ourselves why. We need to assess actions and reactions. If people are treated fairly and respectfully, maybe the wave of caring too much would be celebrated.

Those that are isolating themselves will again emerge to bring beauty to a world that has become a bit too black and white for this artist’s taste.


Raissa Urdiales
Raissa Urdiales
Raissa lived most of her life along the shores of Lake Michigan in Wisconsin. She currently lives in the quiet city of Tega Cay, South Carolina, just across the border from the very active art community of Charlotte, North Carolina. Raissa has not always considered herself as an artist. She spent a great portion of her adult life staring into computer screens and managing computer system implementations and upgrades in the traditional corporate setting. It was through a chance paint night that she discovered her passion for painting. On her 51st birthday, she treated herself to some acrylic paints and brushes and has not stopped painting since. She balances her passion for creating with her day job as a systems analyst. In the wee hours of the morning, you will find her painting before she immerses herself in the technology that is consuming the world today. Although Raissa does not have formal training in the arts she is very conscious of the benefits it has on the human psyche. She holds a Bachelor's of Science majoring in Psychology where she focused her studies on Organizational Psychology. Through her corporate career, she has learned how to strike a balance between that which provides monetary reward and that which fulfills us as humans. For her, this balance is obtained through painting, writing, and exercise. She is currently a member of the Guild of Charlotte Artists where she exhibits select pieces during the quarterly art shows in and around the Charlotte Metropolitan Area. She has also submitted and is featured regularly in the Light Space & Time online gallery. When she is not painting or working with computer systems, she is writing. She currently has a column with BIZCATALYST 360° named “Artful Being” where she writes on topics both in and out of her corporate life to help others gain balance on what it is to be human.

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  1. I appreciate your sensitive heart and your beauty of expression through your painting and writing. I don’t think we can care too much. The problem comes when caring gets corrupted with controlling. Caring and doing what we can to come alongside and support, listen, and act is helpful. Single minded, control at all costs is. Maybe those who think you are too sensitive should take a lesson from you. You have a beautiful heart, Raïssa. Be you. Nobody else is qualified..

  2. “I ask because the statement seems to be more about the person who speaks it than the one that they are speaking about.” I think you may be right. Maybe they have thrown the white towel into the center of the ring, as if to say “i’ve given up trying to make sense of this absurd world, why haven’t you?” Let’s not give up.

  3. Raissa, I can’t tell you how many times I have been told in a critical manner that I care too much, or better yet, why should you care!. I no longer let that bother me because it is who I am and I like who I am. Thank you for the enlightening article.

    • Larry you are such a special friend. Thank you for your constant inspiration and positive influence you have had in my life. Sometimes I wonder if social media was developed for those introvert that want to connect on their own terms.

  4. I love this story because I can relate. Like you, I, too, firmly believe that we need to pull together—and now—or we are going to be in a word, “screwed.” However, my sadness at the decline of the human condition and the world in general, is tinged with a huge helping of anger. That is not productive, I know, but there it is. Please do not stop caring. If only more people were like you, we might not be stuck in the stew we’re in. Wonderful story.

    • I was just reflecting on anger and where it’s place is in our emotions. I can at times become angry but like you realize that it is counter-productive and then try to flip my script to the positive again. Hopefully we will come together as a society and mend the damage that years of lack of caring has resulted in.

  5. Raissa! I know where Tega Cay is and I lived in Charlotte for a few years.
    I also paint and started late too.
    I love love love your article. Just this morning was thinking there are so many problems in our world today.
    thank you for sharing your thoughts.
    Valuable indeed.

    • Thank you Darlene. I think sometimes we stay silent due to criticism for being a sensitive being but the world is starving for it. We want to learn how to feel again.

  6. So glad that you care. And if others find you too sensitive, that is a statement about them. You are brave enough to feel and express what you feel. Their invalidation of your sensitivity is their fear of feeling and becoming overwhelmed by their feelings. your sensitivity is your gift. I hope you will always honor it at such! ❤️❤️❤️

    • Thank you Wendy! I have pondered this often and just recently to change my perspective to consider it a compliment instead of a criticism. It’s all the way you look at things.