People share many fears and phobias they try to hide. Examples are many such as:
- Fear of flying- people who dread flying in the closed space of planes
- This can couple with a fear of heights like going to the top of towers
- Fear of public speaking
- Fear of vulnerability if they show their weaknesses.
- Fear of animals and insects- this is a problem that huts its holder. Sweat of fear is a way for dogs to realize that somebody is scared of them. Dogs smell them because they know of the weakness their victims have. Fear invites trouble.
Hiding fears is unhealthy. It affects negatively our health. Research found that people who try to hide their fears might suffer from emotional suppression leading to stress and depression and their consequent harmful effects. That is because the more you keep to yourself, the more likely you are to feel overwhelmed by the challenges you may be facing, including any mental health struggles. For instance, people may conceal their mental health issues to avoid stigma, fear of discrimination, confidentiality concerns, cultural or societal norms, and personal beliefs. If you’re dealing with this, it would be best to speak to a mental health professional and engage in self-care practices like regular exercise, mindfulness, and maintaining a balanced routine. Also, you can identify activities you enjoy doing, such as playing a good pool game, as these could serve as a healthy distraction, stimulate cognitive function, and promote relaxation. If possible, reach out to trusted friends, family, and mental health professionals for support and guidance.
People hide their fears as a coping mechanism but do not realize how badly this behavior hurts them.
Hiding Weaknesses Strengthens Them
Hiding our feelings are like stains the longer we keep them the harder it shall be to remove them.
Worse is when one fear may generate other problems. Take for example fear of public speaking. If prolonged it leads to loss of self-confidence and fear of other things. Some people may then develop social phobia for fear of criticism or mocking. They isolate themselves with all the troubles this leads to different magnitudes.
We need to convince ourselves that there is a human who is perfect. It is normal to have some fears but hiding them so not solve them.
Facing problems is what helps in solving them. For example, fear of public speaking requires us to ask why we fear it. Finding the causes is the right step in the direct direction of dealing with fear.
One solution is to address a few trusted people and getting feedback from them. Repeat this until you gain confidence.
Ask yourself if your fear relates to your possibility of making a mistake. You could turn it into an opportunity by making fun of it or finding a grand way to deal with it. Learn from others who faced embarrassment while giving public speeches and how creatively they dealt with them.
Remind yourself if you are fearful of heights that the higher you go the more you can see and discover. Is climbing a short tree similar to climbing a tall one?
Is living in the valley a better option than living on the top of the mountain?
Do you want to live a life at the bottom when the heights are awaiting you?
Make your fear so appalling that you want to get rid of it by asking the appropriate questions.
Brother Ali
Your central point -“How can you improve what you hide?” -is profound indeed. In m days as a consultant, I saw so many individuals in performance reviews, or CEOs of public companies, who put a “positive spin” on poor performance. “How can you improve what you hide.
The fear present here is a fear of being judged a failure.
I don’t have any true phobias, at least in the clinical sense of that word, e.g., agoraphobia -fear of going outsie, acrophobia -fear of heights, or arachnophobia -fear of spiders. Do do have some things that mmake me uncomfortable -tight spaces, heights, public speaking, but I have mostly learned to manage the, but exposing myself to them, caving, climbing mountains and jumping out of airplanes, and training and presenting. An old trainer once said to me “The butterflies never go away, you just teach them to fly in formation.”
But I have my share of fear of being judged a failure -not really fear of failure, because I have learned to reframe failure as an opportunity to improve, but that fear of the judgement of others deifining me as a failure – is acraving for the positive regard of others. “”They” whoever they are, matter less than my self–image, but at 76 I still work on that.
Great thought provoking article.
Superb comment Brother Alan Culler
You identified the root of the problem “The fear present here is a fear of being judged a failure.”
Your experience is consistent with this. You knew how to handle your fears by exposing yourself to them rather than hiding from them.
The reult is that you got over your fears.
Good article, and it holds a lot of truth. I remember how much fear I had when I first began speaking in public, thinking I was not going to remember all the important points I had memorized. I rarely use notes, and after my first public speaking engagement, I realized from those that approached me after, they found the presentation very interesting and that I obviously had remembered more than I realized. I still get butterflies just before I make a presentation, but it’s gotten easier, because I have addressed the fear.
Thank you Lynn for sharing your personal experience and fear of public speking.
That your share your fear publicly shows that behind this fear lies great courage.
You did the right thing by facing your fears. Running away from them is not an experience. It s facing fear that brings the realization it is easier than reunning away from it.
I greatly appreciate your kind words.
Fear is so many things! The fear of social change, of indigence, of not being able to maintain the standard of previous living, not to produce more wealth, of not getting more credit and of the collapse of their social image. The fear for health, of not to like or do not be considered and loved. We are afraid of any kind of comparison, of losing control. Sometimes is anxiety, an occasional scare. Every now and then something happens that displaces us and cause us concern.
But yet, fear can be positive up to a certain level. It is part of us, activates us, makes us to be ready to react to what happens to us. And it is essential to push us to have courage and take action. Without fear there is not even success!
It goes not only accepted but cultivated, because fear teaches the sense of limits, and is the basis of many success.
We must also be able to do the things that scare us. Think of the fear and decide how to deal with it is an indispensable training, because it is a major problem in the path of life. It is the engine of success, the root of the failures, the dilemma of all the stories that will affect us. Fear, in the journey from youth to adulthood, is assured.
fear must be recognized and accepted. I agree with you Aldo Delli Paoli. This is the first step to have a healthy mindset.
You explained the two faces of fear very well. The post focuses on the ugly face and how to flip it to the other face.
I appreciate your feedback greatly my friend.