Henry’s Story, Part 2: Sandy’s Story

Sandy is married to Henry, the HR Director in our previous story below ↴

Sandy looks like she has it all together and handles being married to Henry like a pro. After all, social media always shows them together smiling and happily spending time with family and friends. But, the truth is, she puts up an excellent front.


Henry’s Story

Her partner is having significant work challenges. She wants to be a good partner yet finds herself increasingly anxious and fearful of the pressure on her partner and their relationship. Unfortunately, because they both do not know how to manage not taking on others’ stress, lack good self-care, and do not know how to manage not taking on others’ stress well, this adds to their challenges. As a result, loneliness and resentment have increased in their relationship and within their family.

As a result, they barely communicate with each other and their family, eat unhealthily, experience restless sleep, and lack exercise. Both feel overwhelmed and stuck. Feelings of being stuck feed feelings of guilt and shame, and their mindsets sound like a broken record telling themselves they are horrible human beings. They are failing to manage their mental health- thoughts, feelings, words, and behaviors very well in their marriage and life in general. Moreover, because both struggle with anxiety, fear, shame, and sadness, they feel that Henry quitting his job or taking early retirement might make managing life easier.

Quitting, in reality, is most likely the worse choice to make.

Figuring out how to get their mindsets unstuck is their first step. They feel alone, and yet they are not alone. Thousands of people are going through difficult times. Therefore, Extreme Self Care is essential.


Estimates that 1 in 4 Americans over 26% of the American workforce will be working remotely through 2021. They also estimate that 22% of the workforce (36.2 Million Americans) will work remotely by 2025.

Harvard Business Review, published on October 4, 2021

Increased Attrition

  • Sixty-eight percent of Millennials (50% in 2019) and 81% of Gen Zers (75% in 2019) have left roles for mental health reasons, both voluntarily and involuntarily, compared with 50% of respondents overall (34% in 2019).
  • Ninety-one percent of respondents believed that a company’s culture should support mental health, up from 86% in 2019.

Wellbeing At Work by Gallup, 2021

Gallup recently discovered that engaged workers who are not thriving in their lives are much more vulnerable and add risk to your organization.

For example, comparing employees who are engaged but not thriving in life with those who are engaged and thriving, those in the former group report the following risks:

  • 61% higher likelihood of burnout often or always
  • 48% higher likelihood of daily stress
  • 66% higher likelihood of daily worry
  • Double the rate of daily sadness and anger

If an organization’s culture promotes working excessively long hours, working during personal time, and generally putting work ahead of family, those burnout-inducing habits are going to be difficult to break. Work-life balance is a matter of well-being.

How to Prevent Workplace Burnout

The pressure to address job burnout became so intense in 2019 that the World Health Organization declared burnout an occupational phenomenon in the 11th revision of the International Classification of Diseases.

The World Health Organization offers this burnout definition: “a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.” – Gallup.

Building healthy self-care mindsets and habits and managing healthy relationships well is at the core of who Henry and Sandy want to be. Now how to get there?

When one person begins to make positive changes in their habits and relationships, the health of their relationships increases up to 40%.’ – Dr. John Gottman, The Gottman Institute.

A healthier you helps others be a healthier them.

~Sara Thingvold

Put yourself in Henry and Sandy’s shoes. Where would you start?


Sara Thingvold
Sara Thingvold
Sara Thingvold, MCLC, ACC, is an Executive and Life Coach, Trainer, and Consultant, sought out to partner with executive leaders and leadership teams, individuals, couples, and groups. She is the founder and owner of Sara Thingvold Professional Services, and a collaborative business partner with Triune Leadership Services. She began coaching and training others when she was a sophomore in high school and started her own company in 2009. She is passionate about encouraging and walking alongside others. Sara and her husband have been married for 29 years They have two wonderful young adult children, a lovely daughter-in-law, and an adorable grandson. Sara is a University of Nebraska – Lincoln graduate and Husker Volleyball player Alumni. She enjoys the outdoors, cooking with her husband and family, gardening, hiking, running, crafting, and various other activities and hobbies, especially exercising her mind, body, and spirit, and being intentional about deepening her own well-being. You can learn more about Sara, coaching, and the online training programs she offers on her website at Sara Thingvold.

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