Healing Time

The importance of healing is not forgotten with the passage of time.

Healing our emotional wounds is a vital step in living a happy and fulfilling life. As discussed in last week’s article (click here to read it), healing can be suppressed by distractions. It’s already challenging enough because it doesn’t occur naturally as it does with cuts or abrasions to our skin. Sometimes these only require a quick dressing and the progress can be easily monitored with a brief glance.

Emotional recovery, however, is not quite as clear. There is no visual progress to validate if indeed it is happening. So how do we know whether or not we are improving much less experiencing any type of healing? What proof is there it is actually transpiring?

The indicators of emotional healing are basically all in our heads, figuratively speaking. It is how we are feeling about ourselves in that moment. Think of it as if it were a physical wound. As healing progresses, the scab gets smaller and the pain associated with the abrasion decreases. Eventually, it fades away along with any evidence it was ever there.

Recovering from past difficulties and abuses is similar in how those incidents make us feel when they are recalled. If there is little or no pain, that’s a good sign healing has occurred. What troubles some is that on one day we can feel great and the very next day may seem that we are back at square one.

Remember that sometimes while physical wounds heal, we may hinder the process by inadvertently reopening the wound. That doesn’t mean healing never happened, it simply means it will take longer and more vigilance is needed.

The same goes for emotional healing. Progress is not a continual and steady climb with no setbacks. It is nearly inevitable that there will be glitches in our journey. This is the exact moment when we need to believe more fully in ourselves. It is also remarkably beneficial to have others validate our progress which is why a good therapist or coach definitely helps.

When working with my clients, I frequently remind them of their progress and point out the ways they’ve improved. Often the temptation for us to deny any growth is great. That’s because much of the pain is based in our shame which is a self-reinforcing behavior. In many ways, shame thrives when we beat ourselves up and believe all kinds of terrible lies about ourselves.

The biggest difficulty with emotional healing is that there are no black and white answers. We can’t look into our psyche and see whether or not those wounds are getting better. Our self-esteem, which is extremely vital to this process, has been deprived or even stolen from us. It is almost as though life itself is trying to deny us this opportunity. But take heart. That could not be further from the truth.

I believe that we all can heal from anything in our past. Sometimes scars, just like physical ones, remain but they can also be reminders that our healing was real and we did an amazing job overcoming it. If you have any questions about your own healing, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. It has the potential to change your life.


John Dunia
John Dunia
John has a passion; and that is helping others heal from past difficulties and abuses. Healing became important when he realized how much it freed him from his own past and now works to help others experience that liberation. The key to his success was discovering that the most debilitating damage was his own shame and the destructive things he believed about who he was. Throughout his own healing journey, he became hyper-aware of how shame was affecting him while having little clue of its presence. Others noticed these changes and reached out to him for help. His methods were so effective that he made it a mission to shift his career into helping others. Adopting the term “ShameDoctor”, he continues to teach others to empower themselves through his remarkably effective techniques. “Shame is one of the biggest yet least talked about issues we face as individuals and society yet so very little is mentioned about it.” It is his purpose to change the way the world perceives shame and promote helpful and viable techniques to heal and overcome those past struggles. John’s book, “Shame On Me – Healing a Life of Shame-Based thinking” was self-published in 2016. In addition to working with clients, John also writes healing and insightful articles each week. He is also looking forward to speaking on the topics of shame and healing throughout the globe.

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  1. I think that PTSD is a deep wound that one may or may not be able to recover from over time as it haunts the subconscious in a deeply emotional way. These events, even though we may push them back into their box, are inevitably resurfacing when the slightest reminder ignites that thought whether it is a sound, scent, sight or simply a comparable situation witnessed. I have tried EMDR and other methods over my life to try and overcome the pain in an attempt to elevate myself beyond the feelings it triggers and invariably those memories and words I was subjected to return as a demon determined to keep me encased in my private prison.

    • Thank you for being brave enough to tell your story, Johnny. I’ve never experienced anything that would be classified as PTSD and I’m not a mental health expert. My therapist, and also co-author on my next book, and I discuss many types of mental health issues because it helps me in my teaching so I’m always eager to hear and understand others.
      I often liken emotional healing with physical and just as some scars are permanent, healing did occur; just not to the extent that was hoped. Perhaps it’s the expectations that make it feel like it will never heal. No doubt, those differ for everyone. I would be honored to discuss this more with you (well I’d be listening a lot more than discussing) because I learn best when people disagree with my premises.
      Keep up the great work, regardless because what’s important is that you see, feel, and cherish your progress. Even at those times when we stumble, the ultimate goal is to keep moving forward and those become successes when we believe in ourselves that they are.

    • Our pleasure, John – your unique & powerful messages need to be heard around the globe, and we’re honored to spread the word..