I love how the ‘Power of Reflection’ can provide clarity with self-awareness, intuition, and inspiration. Unfortunately, I learned about the H.A.T. method 2.5 years after my divorce. I often ruminate: If I knew about and implemented this method, would my 26-year relationship/marriage still be intact?
After surviving a tumultuous and painful childhood, I successfully developed herculean strategies and behaviors (which assisted me well as an executive Leader in retail for 30 years) to solve complex and challenging problems throughout my life. However, my altruistic intentions and passion for helping others avoid pain and suffering sometimes became a detriment.
Since 2008, I have been on a Spiritual Journey, which taught me that you cannot HELP others if they do not wish to be helped! I changed my entire mindset to encompass this reality.
I realized that everyone is on their own journey and that painful and challenging experiences are sometimes mandatory for growth, awareness, and ascension.
Here is the H.A.T. method broken down further:
𝐇𝐔𝐆– Sometimes, people who are suffering need a nice, firm hug. They seek someone to empathize with or be with them for moral support. Hugs release a hormone called “oxytocin” in the brain. This is known as ‘the bonding molecule’ as it increases feelings of intimacy, helps bonding, and reduces feelings of loneliness and isolation. Hugs also have the power to reduce fear, stress, and pain. Who doesn’t love a good hug?
𝐀𝐃𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐄 —Because of my brutal childhood, this was my number one programmed response to anyone whom I cared about who was suffering. I had been preconditioned to remove problems expeditiously due to life-threatening situations in childhood. However, I didn’t learn to channel this altruistic and genuine energy until later in life. The axiom I held in my mind to retrain myself was, “You Can Lead a Horse to Water, But You Can’t Make it Drink.”
💡In speaking with other men, most view advice as the primary (or even only) form of help.
𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊– Sometimes, people struggling with an issue want to be heard and want you to listen WITHOUT offering any assistance to solve the problem. This seemed counterproductive to me because I haphazardly surmised that everyone would love to witness their problems disappear quickly instead of just vocalizing their feelings. This was a 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 for me. It was a “Light Bulb Moment” for me.
This is WHY I love getting older and having the opportunity to gather more experience and knowledge, which turns into wisdom.
❤ We are ALL connected.
I look forward to your thoughts and insights. Thank you in advance for your support and engagement.
