Of the 15 competencies of the emotional intelligence assessment, self-actualization is paramount to unlocking your fullest potential. Many leaders that I coach score medium to low in the category of self-improvement. Below are the most common failings that derail leaders.
Resisting new ideas
Lacking in interpersonal skills
Do not show enthusiasm
Either are lacking in a clear vision or fail to communicate the vision
Do not see the value in development for their organization
Do not collaborate well
Have different expectations for themselves than for others
Repeat mistakes because they do not learn from their mistakes
Are not star performers setting the bar high enough
Often have poor judgment
All of these shortcomings can be remedied through self-development. If you identified with one or more of the above, then you have an opportunity to move into your fullest potential by having this self-awareness. Let’s first consider the definition of self-actualization.
The online dictionary defines self-actualization as:
The achievement of one’s full potential through, creativity, independence, spontaneity, having a grasp of the real world and the process of establishing oneself as a whole person, and able to develop one’s abilities and to understand oneself.
In this definition, developing one’s abilities is the core to unlocking one’s fullest potential. Yet, what is the resistance to cultivating a posture of self-actualization? Throughout my career and research, I have found two core reasons. Developing oneself requires mental effort and when we use mental effort it drains one’s energy.
Basically, we are lazy. We don’t like to have to think. We enjoy staying in cognitive ease. Cognitive ease is also known as Fast Thinking, a term coined by Daniel Kahneman in his book “Thinking, Fast and Slow.” Repetition induces cognitive ease and as a result, a comforting feeling of familiarity. For example, when we learned how to tie our shoes, it required mental effort to remember all the steps and execute them properly. Over time, through repetition, we could tie our shoes without having to think about the procedure. We have become so familiar with this process, we can now hold a conversation or think about our “to do” list and not give any attention to the task at hand.
The downside to cognitive ease or fast thinking is that, as Kahneman points out in his book, we cannot turn fast thinking off. Here’s what happens:
We operate automatically
Errors are often difficult to prevent
Biases cannot always be avoided
There is an excessive confidence in what we believe we know
We are influenced by our biases
There are unconscious processes going on which explain our judgments
Associative memory is the core of our fast thinking
Overcoming cognitive ease is the challenge. Ask yourself, “What is required to embark upon new challenges and step into developing areas that are not your strengths?” We tend to develop in areas that support our strengths and ignore our limitations. Malcolm Gladwell identified two types of learning in his book, “David and Goliath,” that address this issue. There is capitalization learning where we continue to focus on building upon the strengths that come to us naturally and there is compensation learning where we have to focus on and look at what needs development by admitting our limitations.
To shift from developing upon your strengths and turn the dial to compensation learning requires a certain attitude. You need an attitude that you have nothing to lose by embarking upon developing areas that are weak and limit your fullest potential. Adopting the attitude that you have nothing to lose is freeing as you step into a mindset of being open to learn new skills and/or a willingness to try new endeavors. In this freedom, you have moved out of your comfort zone. In this new realm, you need to nurture certain characteristics. These are:
Having patience with yourself
Determination
Commitment
Developing organizational skills
Being open to learning from your mistakes
Having confidence in yourself
Being realistic in the goals you set
Working hard to attain measurable achievements
Staying inspired even during setbacks
Recognizing your strengths and weaknesses is the first step. The next step it to focus on what you can improve and spend time daily on working toward your goal. Overcoming barriers to learning is a new skill in itself, and a challenge for some. Learning new skills can broaden your opportunities and empower you and move you further along in your career. Once you have grown in a new area, your self-esteem will increase. It is up to you to take the leap into unlocking your fullest potential. Having an executive coach can propel your momentum through their insights of your limitations and patterns of behavior that stump your progress. Most important to remember, only you can stall your career by playing it safe. And remember, Success Starts With You.
Send me an email to take the EQi – 2.0 assessment to learn what areas you can develop. If you found value in this article, please share your comments and insights.
I fully agree with you, Dr. Melinda, in so far as the negatives of cognitive thinking are concerned. The hind sight created by the pattern of our repeat actions resembles the ‘auto-correct’ function in MS Word that sometimes leads you to frustration because it won’t let you use a word it is not familiar with.
We cannot always expect changes in others until and unless we are open enough to make adjustments in our own approach. I agree with Chris Pehura so far as his HARD philosophy is concerned. As we move on, various experts have given their individual steps in easily collectable fashions. In simple terms, Charity Begins at Home. If we start to see the world in the light of cooperation and adjustments, we can make it better and our lives more enjoyable no matter whether in the ‘C’ Suite or at home, in the company of those that love us the most.
this is where and how self-realization comes into play and helps us maintain the two in an obliging fashion.
Thank You!
To reforge behaviors I focus on HARD behaviors. Behaviors driven by…
H – hammers and tools
A – auto-pilot
R – reinforcements
D – deep specialization
These aspects are found in a multitude of approaches used in management consulting.
Thank you, Chris. The HARD behaviors sum up my article well. Your contribution is greatly appreciated.
Be great,
Melinda