It seems strange to me now to not use my voice.
There was a time when I completely lost it.
A time I forgot how to use it.
A time when I forgot who I was.
It was very unlike me to be silent. I was never a shy child, teenager, or young adult.
I spent the majority of my life on stage.
Somewhere in my adulthood.
My voice just vanished.
Now I know when it was gone and when I got it back.
I know why it vanished.
The exact moment it disappeared, when I disappeared escapes me.
One day, I just wasn’t me.
You see when years of not being heard, silenced, and shot down become repetitive, you just stop speaking up.
You grow tired of no one listening.
You allow yourself to be silenced.
When you silence your voice, you lose it.
You lose part of you.
The way back isn’t as simple as opening your mouth.
A healing journey is evident.
The way I found my voice and myself, emerged through my writing.
That was the part of my voice I could allow in the beginning.
It became part of my healing.
Allowing my vulnerability to reveal itself seemed safer than opening my mouth.
Once those words got out, more would follow.
That spark was lit.
That’s when I started to show up as me.
For me.
Continuing to do the work to take my power back.
That’s when my voice grew louder.
That’s when I found my way back to myself.
If you see me, hear me now, I’m sure you can’t imagine it.
It’s honestly difficult for me to think I could be anyone else than who I am.
It’s difficult to imagine I was silent.
Especially with how loud I am now.
I still remember.
I remember what it felt like to be a silent extrovert.
It didn’t feel right.
It hurt.
It felt unnatural.
I just didn’t know how to let it out.
It was like I had forgotten its purpose.
My writing became my empowerment.
It sparked my fire.
Through what began as journaling turned into content, articles, panels, podcasts, #coaching, and #speaking.
Me telling my story.
Little by little I told all of it.
The down and dirty, through the mud, climbing out of that deep dark hole.
All of it!
Letting my voice be discovered lit the blaze that lighted my path.
Which turned into the greatest adventure of my life!
If you are feeling like you have lost your voice, let me remind you, it’s there.
It’s patiently waiting to be revealed.
For you to realize no one can take it from you.
No one can silence you.
It’s waiting for you to follow your inner compass.
If you need encouragement, I’m here.
