Has Femininity Become a Thing of the Past?

I was recently having a conversation with a male friend of mine and he was lamenting about a recent experience he had when he asked a woman out on a date.  He recounted to me that after the usual hellos and text exchange he suggested they keep it simple and stay in and cook.  This idea was met with an immediate “no” by the woman who did not want to cook and stay in.  On one hand, I can see that on a first date you do not want to be cooking in the kitchen. However, what happened next seemed slightly unreasonable.

When she said she didn’t want to cook dinner and stay in, my friend suggested going out to dinner instead. He told her to “put on her nicest little black dress for a dinner out at a nice restaurant.”  This, too, was met with a “no.” She said that she didn’t have anything good enough to wear to a nice restaurant and that all her black dresses were more for the club.  (*And being that my friend is not a big club person and is more into fashion, this was hard news to hear) He once again reiterated he wanted to take her to a nice place and did she have anything that would be appropriate? She once again went back and forth about it saying she did not and preferred going out to a club instead. Finally, my friend said, “let’s just try to figure something out for some other time.”

This whole exchange and the conversation I had with my friend solidified my belief that more and more it seems like being feminine is a thing of the past for many women.  There also seems to be some issue with women being able to ‘just go with the flow,’ be agreeable, charming, and generally of good temperament.

Too often the women of today’s world are not very agreeable, often favoring drama over having a more uplifting presence.

They also do not like being agreeable to the needs, desires, or requests of their partner or potential partners.  I am not saying that we (women) should be a doormat for a man, put up with any abusive behavior and bend to his every desire or whim but rather be agreeable to say yes or try new things to see where it might lead.

When a high-caliber man looks at a woman as his potential partner, he looks at the total package, not JUST the body and the parts that make up being a woman.  And therein lies the discrepancy of things because many women mistake the fact that they possess the female form and can get anything they want or manipulate anyone they want just by using sex.

But it would probably shock most women to find out that men, DO want more from you than just being good in bed. They want a lot more!  They want to be just as intellectually stimulated as they do to be physically and sexually stimulated. They want someone that can be there to support their needs and desires just as much as they support the areas of your life that are important to you.

It really is a two-way street but many women forget that and think they don’t need to bring anything to the table in order to get a high-quality man which is why they seem to always find themselves in relationships that don’t meet their expectations.  Men are not complex creatures by nature but we as women tend to overcomplicate things.  Speak to his simple needs and nature and you will win every time. But if you go against what his natural tendencies, urges, and desires are then you will be in for a losing battle.

Keep it Simple… Attend to his intellectual needs, physical needs, sensual and spiritual needs and you will win.

How can you embrace your feminine qualities today?


Melissa Van Oss
Melissa Van Oss
Melissa Van Oss is a MidWest transplant to Washington, D.C. She embraced city life becoming involved in a private underground world that few see inside of, she pushed past her own fears, insecurities, and barriers, and came out the other side transformed into a confident, adventurous spirit… she awoke her aura of Seduction. Melissa is a three-time bestselling author, speaker, human relations strategist, and scholar. She is the author of the Seduction as a Second Language Series. Melissa uses her experiences in the world of Seduction to help others understand Seduction As A Second Language and how it translates into more confidence from the bedroom to the boardroom. When viewed as an intellectual pursuit, understanding Seduction will lead you down a path toward personal transformation, evolution, and higher consciousness. There is a difference between social Seduction and seducing someone in our personal relationships, Melissa shares how to tell the difference between them and how to use them to your advantage. Melissa has been interviewed for Life Altering Experiences on Roku TV as well as being featured in The Hollywood Times. She has also been a guest on the podcasts - “What Every Business Needs to Know Right Now,” “Analytical Chaos,” and “The Guy Who Knows a Guy.” She also recently spoke at the Monetize Your Matter Summit. She works with individuals, high-level executives, entrepreneurs, as well as former professional athletes. Melissa has collaborated on the creation of several live events and spoken at numerous workshops. The Indie film in which Melissa was a consultant won numerous awards as well. Van Oss attended Kent State University, where she graduated with honors with a Bachelor of Science degree. She currently lives in Washington, D.C.

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