I was out walking with my wife recently (that’s what middle aged suburban people do, we walk, it makes us feel like we are less lazy and it gets us away from the kids so we can talk grown up) and she made this statement in a perfect innocent way:

via It’s Hard To Judge People « The Tim Sackett Project.

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Debbie Ruston

This reminds me of when our kids were teens, and all the different “styles” of personalities we saw come through our house. As young people go through their teen years and start discovering their independence, every generation has experienced the experiments teens go through…in the 50’s it was slicked back hair and poodle skirts, we then saw the hippie stage, we have seen disco era, big hair in the Farrah Fawcett days, and today we see studs, piercings, tatoos, pink, red, blue and green hair, some of which are mohawks. It is part of finding your identity. It is easy to judge, only looking at the outside of what you see, as many generations have done. This is a true shame because you cannot possibly see the goodness and gifts that are behind these “masks”. Some of the most wonderful, kind, smart, giving people I have met through the years of raising our own kids are people that are now mature adults and could be judged because of their appearance.

I have witnessed a 25 year old young man I know standing at a local music event beside his mom, reaching over and kissing and hugging her and telling her how much he loves her. He works full time, plays drums in 3 bands, has tatoos, and is dressed in punk style. He is one of the most loved young men of our community…happy, kind, hard working, gentle soul.

I have witnessed another young man I know who is covered in tatoos…he doesn’t drink, he doesn’t do drugs, he works 80 hours a week and is another absolutely wonderful young man.

It is easy to judge. I have learned over the years to look past what you see visually, and “see” the person…get to know them, have conversation, learn who they are, what and how they think, what they are involved in, etc. When you take the time to do this, whether it is in personal situations or in business, you become a better person that sees people for who they really are and what they are truly capable of.