When discussing these two, very few people talk about a larger context and delve deeper into discovering what creates a fixed mindset. One is usually given a set of techniques and tools and told to practice them to become more growth-mindset-oriented.
Unfortunately, what champions of these techniques don’t know is that these tools don’t work for people who experienced any kind of deeper emotional or physical pain, trauma or wounding in their childhood. And that is a much greater number of people then the majority currently thinks. In fact, if one goes deeper into human psychology, one can find an unacknowledged trauma within almost anyone.
What’s even more discouraging about existing mindset practitioners is that they often shame the person for having a fixed mindset, as if someone had a choice to have it or not.
From my coaching research and work, I have come to understand that a fixed mindset is just an effect of poor, neglectful or downright abusive parenting and childhood.
Deep beliefs, thoughts, and emotions that constitute a person’s mindset are created in the first 7 years of a child’s life when babies and children absorb everything they are presented with – including emotions, beliefs, models of behavior and thinking of those they are around the most – their family.
Due to an even slightest emotional or physical form of neglect, the child experiences wounding which is for their safety and survival automatically placed within their subconscious. This wounding then creates rigid coping mechanisms that help the child survive. And these rigid mechanisms later turn into something we call a fixed mindset. Because the core reason here is childhood wounding, fixed mindset can’t sustainably be addressed only through tools and techniques.
What is needed is to heal and release early beliefs, thoughts, and emotions that created that fixed mindset by extracting them from the subconscious realm and bringing them into conscious awareness to be processed adequately. When that process is respected, fixed mindset changes on its own because we have eliminated the core reason it was created – initial danger and wounding.
Human beings are born with flexible and limitless capacities and possibilities, and what creates rigidity and thus a fixed mindset is something that stunts growth which is early wounding as described above.
So, to summarize: Fixed mindset is created by wounds.
As long as a person tries to avoid addressing, accepting and embracing emotions in their desire to grow, transform and be successful in their business or in their personal life, their results will be less then.
At least they won’t be as sustainable and as fulfilling as the person wants them to be, because they will not come from an integrated whole self, but a fragmentation of our being.
Healing of the initial wounds through empathy and focused guidance, allows our full, integrated self to emerge with its innate flexibility and transformational capacity to thrive.
Therefore, a growth mindset is achieved through the healing of our wounds. And the ripple effect of this process goes wider then our business or career, as our growth mindset positively affects our relationships and quality of life.