It is so energizing to watch my clients set and achieve their ‘inner goals’ and watch their outer world significantly improve. Most of us set goals that are outwardly focused. We consider that if things are different/better/deeper/faster in our outer world then we will feel better on the inside. If we lose weight, get that promotion, have a child, beat our time, finish the deck, sweep the floor, hear from the doctor, pay off the debt, THEN we will feel better. Yet, the better feeling is small and fleeting and never matches the promise that the goal originally held. Taking action alone to feel better doesn’t lead to lasting change. Actually, the opposite is true – even though it may seem completely counter-intuitive. Feeling better now is the key to knowing and taking the right actions to move successfully towards our goals.
Instead of focusing on what to ‘do’ differently in our lives, we can get clear about what we want our inner experience to be and how we will feel when it is happening (satisfied, safe, eager, excited, inspired, passionate, at ease, peaceful, etc.). The idea is to focus more on how we want it to feel, than what it will look like.
Feeling better now leads to us to better decisions and circumstances which then leads to more good feelings. Instead of focusing on what to ‘do’ differently in our lives, we can get clear about what we want our inner experience to be and how we will feel when it is happening (satisfied, safe, eager, excited, inspired, passionate, at ease, peaceful, etc.). The idea is to focus more on how we want it to feel, than what it will look like. Most of us focus on potential scenarios that we don’t want (gain weight, lose a job, run out of time, get sick, etc.) and the feelings that go with those scenarios (frustration, failure, fear, insult, powerlessness, guilt, etc.). These feelings send out an energetic message to the universe and the universe responds by providing more situations that match those same feelings. It says, ‘here you go, here is more of what you are generating’. This is how we are creating our reality. We create more of what we focus on. Our true power is deciding WHAT we focus upon.
As we start to focus on feeling how we want to feel NOW, by imagining our goals as if they were already achieved in this moment, we send out a different energetic signature to the responsive universe. This generates circumstances that give us a chance to feel the way we want to feel. Our job is to keep our attention on the good feelings of our desire coming to us instead of our fear of not getting what we want. That means interpreting our circumstances as evidence that what we want is coming to us. Feelings of joy, excitement, passion, eagerness, creativity, delight, ease, fun, integration, peace, love, acceptance, etc., are all ways we want to feel when our goals manifest. Staying focused on generating these good feelings before the goal manifests, inspires us to take the right action for ourselves as situations unfold. These good feelings let us spend more time in the ‘flow’ allowing us to experience a much higher level of ease and confidence as we move step by step towards our outer goals.
When we realize that we are in control of every experience we are having based on where we focus our attention and emotion moment-to-moment, we can relax and allow others to do the same.
When we can take care of ourselves, we don’t ‘need’ others in the way we thought we did. This new perspective allows us to loosen our expectations and control in our relationships, in our work and in our bodies. This allows us to stop focusing on a fear-filled future that may never come, or on a regret-filled past that no longer exists. Any goal is achievable when you start by feeling how good you will feel when it happens and are willing to follow the steps that come from that inspired good-feeling place inside. If it feels right/good/energizing, do it. Our next immediate steps become apparent when we stay focused on the good feelings inside. Each small step turns into another until we are feeling good feelings all of the time and our outer life/goal achievement reflects it.
Setting and achieving our goals is both an outer and inner job. Start with the what and the why of the goal (e.g., I want to feel this way _____ by achieving this goal). Next, energize the feelings that go with it by imagining your goal already being accomplished. From that good feeling place, become aware of the next obvious step you can take that keeps you in the good feelings. Trust that each next step will ‘light up’ before you if you stay with the positive feelings. Many surprising and delightful circumstances will show up in your life to move you towards your goal in ways that feel good. Trust what feels best and move towards it. There is no need to rigidly stick to a detailed plan, suffer when things look different than you expect, or to sacrifice your self-care or well-being to achieve your goals. Those are limiting beliefs that don’t serve you. May your goals be ones that bring you joy in the thinking of them and ease and delight in the movement you make towards them.
How can you feel your way into achieving your goals today?