I remember the child who skipped and sat in the grass in front of the old school building finding daisies to make daisy chains with Joan. Moments of presence suspended in time allowed my desires for he future and any pain from the past to vanish into vapor.
A happy-hearted girl, I remember the full-body experience of being truly me.
I suppose we were working-class folk, who by the grace of Dad’s WWII veteran status were able to afford a house with a VA loan. We lived with our basic needs met. I don’t recall ever seeing my parents spend what we now call discretionary funds on luxury items. Mother carefully budgeted for all of our basics needs. In the pattern established during the war, we rolled string into balls; aluminum foil saved and re-used. Nothing was wasted. She canned fruits and tomatoes to see us through the winter. Flour sacks became dishtowels. With the help of McCall patterns and mother’s skill, my clothes were hand made.
At age eight, I began to notice my friends who displayed more possessions. Joan had a radio in her room so we could listen to Roy Rogers when we had a sleepover at her house. Suzy had beautiful things in her house that included everyday dishes that were nicer than our one set of Melamines. Both friends had store-bought dresses and prettier shoes.
It was at that time that we had a new girl in our class, Carol Ann. She always came to school disheveled and not particularly clean. I remember still, the look in her eyes of not belonging in our small-town school. She lived near the school in a house that looked on the edge of collapse with overgrown grass and weeds surrounding the tiny structure. I tried to be friendly without succeeding. She felt shut away. My heart went out to her, sensing great lack in her world that was foreign to me. Within a few weeks, she was gone.
That first moment of empathy for Carol Ann appeared as a reminder of what I would later discover to be my life work. I do believe we come into our life already programmed for our service to the greater good all. Our journey allows us to bring awareness to our true nature, expressed by our actions and emotions. Our programming comes in our unique combination of DNA from our parents, our ancient ancestry-held programming within our genes, and the astrological influences at conception and birth. I also believe we chose to be here and to awaken to our inner truth.
Dis-ease comes as a reminder to seek alignment with our work and purpose – to speak our truth. We have the opportunity to revel in the opportunity and discover the richness and joy of living fully within our true self.
Strong Ink with a heavy dose of sadness.
Poignant, beautifully expressed. What lands in our hearts-joy, hurts, empathy for another person, heartbreak-all can lead us gracefully to our life’s work. How important uncovering our heart’s memories can be for this journey to an awakened life of love and service. I felt completely drawn into your world with the girls who had pretty things and your experience of pangs of empathy for Carol Ann. Haven’t many of us felt like Carol Ann at one point or another? Thank you so much for sharing this story, Kathleen.
Dis-ease is indeed the reminder to seek alignment with work and purpose. I find compassion for ourselves and others is the balm to restore balance and return to the joy of living! Thanks for the reminder.
A lovely piece, Kathleen. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Kathleen, I am so glad that you are clear, aligned, and so beautifully undertaking your life’s work with helping others discover their own paths of passion. Your tender account and care at a young age of other’s is evident and expressed with such kindness. I also support you in your DNA belief and connection to astrological influences as giving a potential predisposition to gifts and talents. A richly-textured read for a Tuesday morning.
I enjoyed reading your post Kathleen – thank you.
Charles Dickens puts this well: “Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many, not your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”
Over the many years I have slowly learned that Happiness isn’t a destination, it’s a habit.
“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” — Marcus Aurelius