Give Love a Chance

I believe we all have our own idea of the definition of love. I think we may get it from our childhood or how we saw our parents, family, or friends love one another. As a child, I watched my mother go through so much and she was still strong enough to stay in her marriage. I learned that love bred strength and staying power regardless of how you were treated. My parents stayed together after a brief separation even though they were legally divorced. I learned that marriage was supposed to be forever. Like my mom, some people stay in a marriage for the sake of the kids. I did that until my hurt trickled down on to my babies. Then there’s trying to make up for your one mistake versus their 100. So basically, I thought it was my job to be the perfect wife/mother, stay, and forgive, forgive, forgive. I am just being honest.

My Daddy, Big Brother Art Jr., and My Mommy

I see now that how some people love can be a lesson on how not to love. Love is supposed to be effortless, and not hurt 100% of the time. You should never have to beg for their attention or passion. If a person loves you, they will make time for you. Be strong enough to stay when things get tough but strong enough to walk away from an abusive partner. By all means, put yourself first! If you are not healthy mentally and physically, how can you be there for anyone else? Sometimes love is taken for granted, marriages don’t work, people cheat, and hearts get broken. But that’s OK. It was part of your love journey. Learn from it, from your mistakes and move on.

We often say if I knew then what I know now, but I believe everything happens for a reason in its own season. We are supposed to go through losses in love. If we didn’t, how would we ever know when true love finds us. I heard in a movie one night, if you believe you love someone, don’t waste time. Go get that person, because when God calls them home, no matter how minutes or how many years you get together, it will never be enough time. You will always long for more time with your love. So, I say open your heart, let your guard down, let go of past relationships and hurt, forget how your parents or others loved, forgive your mistakes, and simply step out on faith.

Ask him or her out on a date. The worse that could happen is that they say no. But you will never know unless you try. You won’t ever be able to get to know someone hidden behind those walls you’ve built. She or he had no part in handing you those bricks. So, stop giving people who weren’t ‘the one’ power over you. Put that load down, come out of the shadows, and show the real you. Give love a chance.

Here’s to us all finding true unbreakable love.


Valerie Collins
Valerie Collins
Valerie Collins was born in Tucson, Az, the last of six children. She has loved writing since a child but decided to pursue a career in Orthopedic nursing. Shortly after her marriage and birth of her first child at the age of 22, she was diagnosed with the chronic pain disease, Fibromyalgia, its subsequent conditions, illnesses, and syndromes. Once the disease disabled her in 2001, she revisited her passion for writing poetry and short stories and has accumulated over 100 poems and spoken word pieces over the years. She became a member of the International Society of poets in 2002 and The International Who's Who in Poetry in 2006. She currently is a member of Realistic Poetry International, Who's Who Among American Business Women, and Women of Facebook Create. Her accolades include 2005 Poet of the Year. She was awarded both the Outstanding Achievement Award in Poetry and the Official Commemorative Poetry Ambassador Medal while serving as a Poetry Ambassador associate in 2007. She wrote a play entitled “Fix Me Jesus” in 2012 for Alabama 1st COGIC State AIM Youth Convention Competition drama category which was awarded second place. Currently, she is in rehearsals for her second stage play for the local playwright, Shawna D. Moore which will be on stage in August 2019. She is in the process of compiling a two-volume poetry book entitled My Poetic Life: A Memoir of Love and a book detailing her life with Fibromyalgia, entitled Behind the Walls of Silence. In July 2018, she created her first blog site My Poetic Life (The Book) as @vfurrmstheblogger to act as a launch for both books and it has taken on a life of its own. She also owns a small crochet business, Val's Gifts of Warmth, where she sells her handmade crochet items.

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  1. Valerie, it’s always a pleasure to read an article written by somebody who knows their subject matter. Such is the case with you. This article comes from your heart. You worked hard to raise your children to grow up the right way. Love is not something you can live without. Love is also something you can take for granted. Love should never mean it is okay to be physically hurt.

    • Thank you Joel. Your comments always inspire me to do and be better. I agree. Because of what I’ve experienced I can appreciate the love I know I deserve now..

    • You are welcome, Valerie. As I have said in the past from our Facebook chats and your articles I am very impressed by you. You know yourself you can be better as can we all. HAPPY NEW YEAR!