Get Out Of Your Emotions

One of the most regular sayings that I hear bounced around is when people are urged to “Get Out Of Their Emotions.” Usually, it is based on decisions, thoughts, or actions based on how someone is feeling at a particular moment.  In many instances, it is not centered on actual fact but by someone’s  interpretation based on how they feel.  This becomes a potentially dangerous situation because the basis and importance of how we look at a situation while in our emotions can be flawed or foggy.  We are not looking at something from a calm and relaxed perspective but a reflection based on the emotion in the moment.  Now, speaking only for myself, I have never made a good decision based merely on emotion especially if the mood is less than positive. Frankly, I have made some of my worst decisions from this standpoint   So, the answer towards recovering from this is to examine how and when we should make decisions and from which viewpoint. I do recognize that an emotion based on a failure can result in someone making a determination to learn and recover.  However, this will only happen thru a concentrated effort in a thoughtful manner. Are we getting caught up in our emotions based on lack of Effort or is it the result of not properly Examining the best course of action from a clear rationale of facts?  Today, my thoughts center on How to Get Out Of Our Emotions.

What causes  Emotions to take over the decision?  A few reasons immediately come to mind.

Not Prepared:  We were confronted with a situation and had not fully prepared ourselves to make an informed and wise decision.  This alone can cause frustration as it gives us a sense of failure. Our natural tendency is to get angry or get caught up in our emotions and this is an inward reaction.  We were not equipped properly because we were not at optimal readiness.  The solution is to carefully reflect on next steps, obtain the necessary information and go thru the proper due diligence to make the best possible decision. (Based on Fact)  Take the emotion out of it and allow the intellect back to the center stage.
Lack of Knowledge:  This can almost be tied to preparation with one differing perspective. Yes, we need the facts and we need them based on the specific area required to make a good decision.  Many people do not take the time to access knowledge either due to time constraints or based on an unwillingness to learn what they don’t know.  By not having a decent understanding, we leave things to chance and the best we have is a 50/50 chance.  Those are not the best odds especially if the results have a long lasting impact.
Don’t Put In Effort:  To me, this is one of the more prevalent reasons that we get caught up in our emotions.  We did not put in the necessary effort to increase our chances of success.  We attempted to do too much in a short period of time.  We over extend our commitments or gloss over the details. We look for the easiest way out.  Go for the easy fix that does not require time, energy, or endurance. Here is where we set ourselves up for failure.  We do not put in the necessary effort or emphasis to increase our chances of success. Slow down and take the time to better understand the mechanics of what is important to know.  Rather than simply phoning it in, roll your shirt sleeves up and put in some real effort.
We Are Unfocused:  Now, it is also essential to place focus on what we are doing.  Rather than taking steps all across the board, place a dedicated effort on one thing at a time.  I have learned that I am a terrible multi-tasker.  I can admit it based on my own experiences of trying to juggle multiple projects in a mediocre manner at best.  I just simply cannot hang.  No, I have to place my focus on finishing that which I start.  By doing so, I improve my chances in my preparation, follow-thru, and execution. I am also able to see tangible results from a completed perspective rather than half done work with no end in sight.

Emotion is important yet when misguided, sets us up for failure. If we look at how emotion can affect us, think about those conversations you have had while angry. How many times did you regret hitting Send on the emotionally charged email? How often do we find ourselves having to say “I am Sorry” because we flew off the handle? How many innocent people were subjected to our rage and had nothing to do with it? Yes, we are human and these exchanges are going to happen. The important fact is how to minimize the number of times we find ourselves having to re-set or re-do.  Instead, try this.

Breath before Speaking

Pause and Ponder

Relax prior to Responding

Find your Calm prior to your next Communication

Cultivate Your Character Confidently

By removing the “In the Moment Emotion” from your next decision, your next steps will become the basis for a positive result.  You will find that you are poised to make a better decision which places you in a better position. To be fair, this is much easier said than done. However, thru a thoughtful and mindful pursuit of an even keel manner, we come out on the other side with increased confidence, control, and cooperation. The results are worth the Effort Energy and Enthusiasm necessary to make thoughtful decisions and responses.  I love the sentiment that life is 10% what happens and 90% how we respond.

So, What’s In Your Emotion?

Chris Adams
Chris Adams
CHRIS has over 30 years in the Hospitality Industry serving in a number of emerging and diverse roles. His specialty has been in the area of Staff Development, Organizational Enhancements, Task Force Management, and Public Relations. He has worked for several brands such as Sheraton, Hilton, Marriott, Holiday Inn, and several Independents. An advocate for strong community relationships, Adams has served on numerous boards and Non-Profits in an effort to bridge certain gaps towards better understanding and inclusion for all. Additionally, Adams serves as a Legal Task Force Consultant assisting Law Firms in developing case positions via mock juries, selection, and development of media strategies. These efforts have provided further strength towards mediation and successful case resolutions
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Jeanine Joy, Ph.D.

Hi Chris,

Interesting article. I haven’t heard the phrase “Get out of your emotions” before.
I think you’d appreciate learning about the new, scientifically validated purpose and appropriate use of emotions that overthrows the understanding of emotions that most people have been trained to use.

Our primary goal when we don’t feel good is to find a way to feel better before we make any decisions (unless there are actions that literally have to be taken immediately). Our conscious thought process is sub-optimal when we are stressed and negative emotion is an indicator that we’re stressed.

But the value of emotions is high. Individuals who cannot detect their emotions due to illness or injuries cannot make even simple decisions including what to eat for lunch. We don’t become Spock-like when we can’t sense our emotions.

Chris Pehura

Great idea’s Chris. A big thing I see that throws people for a loop is their “baseline”. Did something really bad happen just recently that will color their interpretation today in each moment?

If it did, the decision-maker will not consider all the information when making the decision.

Larry Tyler
Larry Tyler

Great post Chris. Useful information. I always try to pause before I make a decision. Not necessarily think more about it but rather clear my thoughts of initial feelings.

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