This particular topic is mostly to help me through losing “friends”. I have been blessed with some beautiful friendship; a few that spans over two or three decades. I take my roles in friendships seriously. I try to make myself always available and open to whatever they need. But recently, in the last two years, I’ve found myself having to let go of some of my dearest friendships.
I’m trying to write this without going into specifics, but it’s hard. A friend should be someone you can go to and vice versa. But a friendship runs a little deeper meaning this involves loving each other and making sacrifices, even. Friendships are never to be taken for granted. It makes me wonder if this Steve Harvey quote is true, “You can live without family but you can’t live without a friend”.
I feel like most of my friends have either turned completely away from me or partially away, but I don’t exactly know why.
I assume it’s me. Who knows? My existence doesn’t hinge on us being friends but I can’t help feeling lonely at times. People have lives and get busy, I know, so that isn’t why I feel this way. I do think that sometimes I have been willing to participate in a friendship that no longer exists. That’s a hard pill to swallow.
You know, I have never just stopped loving a friend, even if their actions cause the demise of our friendship. I find myself still caring and still hoping they are well. Perhaps my heart is way too big and I find it easier to love than to hate. It’s easier for me to be someone’s friend than their enemy. I try to never allow hate in my heart. But I’m human. Life gets hard and we tend to react instead of remembering you never know what someone else is going through.
I say to let your first response be kindness and go from there. Friends come and go and so do friendships. People simply outgrow one another. Don’t take it personally. Some people divorce after thirty-year marriages so don’t sweat it too long when friendships die. Don’t stay where you’re not wanted. This is simply God’s way of making space for new people in your life. Let it go and move on!
I have also had to learn to be happy by myself and to lean on my family. If you can’t be happy alone and get to know you, how can enjoy the company of anyone else? I know this is easier said than done because loneliness is not fun. So wrap your head around this idea: you can be friends without a friendship. Yep, you can! But being fake friends with someone is deplorable. Be real. Be you. Open yourself up to meeting new people and creating true friendships that will stand the test of time. You’ll thank me for it!