Dear Janet,
My mother and I have not talked in about 3 years. I stopped talking to her, because she told several friends and family members many lies about my husband and me. I’m not sure why she did this. But, I know she is someone that has always needed a lot of attention and sympathy from people. This is not the first time she has done this with me or others.
It took me about a year to completely forgive her this time. I can say I wish her the best, and I hold no anger or resentment in my heart today. But, I have not wanted to let her back in my life, because I do not want to give her the opportunity to hurt my family again. I have let it all go and have closure. I sincerely wish her nothing but the best in her life.
About a week ago, I received a letter in the mail from her apologizing for the things she had done. I responded with a letter simply telling her I accepted her apology and wished her the best.
I believe she is looking to reestablish a relationship with me from her letter. I do not want to do this. Do you believe it is necessary to do so to ‘honor your mother and father’ command from God? Or, can I honor her with forgiveness but keep my physical distance?
Cindy in Los Angeles
Dear Cindy,
You referenced Exodus 20:12 about “Honor thy Father and Mother.” Many people forget that is not the whole verse. This is the only commandment with a promise of blessing attached. The New Living Translation of this verse says:
