For Love of Men

At this time of year, around Father’s Day, it seems an appropriate time to mention a few challenges that men face these days. Yes, I’ve seen it before. Any man who dares to suggest men are under pressure is reviled. It’s become sport #1 amongst many in our society to revile men and then heap scorn on them if they try to defend themselves. Even being a feminist isn’t enough to protect you even if all you do is say you realize they aren’t the enemy.

During the Kavanaugh hearings, we literally heard that men should be 2nd class citizens in the justice system. In an effort to protect women, there were calls to remove the rights all defendants are given. Remember, in the United States, everyone is innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.

Talk of “toxic masculinity.” Must have missed the talk of “toxic femininity.” Probably because of simplistic judgment based on sex.

Weddings are all about the woman. It’s “her day.” If you want men to buy more into marriage, might want to change that attitude.  And remember, 20% of women want sex more than their husband.

Babies and birth are all about the woman. Regardless of what else you’re thinking about, if you want men to take more of an affirmative attitude and role, make it an event for them, as well. And, contrary to typical myth, having a male in the household is a positive indicator.

Men who are sexually assaulted are not believed, heckled, and the women are even encouraged. Sexual harassment apparently goes 1 direction.

Whenever there is a mass casualty, we hear about American dead or “Innocent women and children.” Because, of course, men aren’t innocent.

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.

― Brad Meltzer

Boys are suspended and expelled at 2-4 times the rates of girls. Feel free to read the description. The graph shows the OBVIOUS disproportionate punishment of boys, but the authors don’t even mention that. Even though they have a graph to describe racial differences earlier, they only comment on race, even on the sex graph. Because no one care.

You can also find info about the sex disparity regarding college entrance, suicide, prison, etc. Though it’s hard to find because the focus is nearly exclusively on race. Difference in/based on race = BAD!  Difference in/based on sex (if negative for males) = who cares????

The UN Human Rights “Protocol to Prevent, Suppress and Punish Trafficking in Persons Especially Women and Children” Because to the UN, apparently, it’s no big deal to traffic men.

My son was taught in public high school, “Men are sexist because they are men. Women can’t be sexist.” The debate is over! You’re evil by your very existence!


  • Treat everyone as equal and worthy of respect.
  • Judge each individual by the character of their heart, not the physical characteristics you can see.
  • Realize we are each an ultimate minority of 1 or an ultimate majority of human. Anything else, beyond biology, is manmade division designed to promote hate/strife/tension between groups and give someone/s power.
  • Next time you think about posting or sharing that meme about how dumb, evil, childlike, stupid men are…First, ask yourself if it is true of all men. Then ask if you would post similar about women, blacks, gays or whatever subgroup you actually care about or value.
  • When you see a post or meme like that, ask yourself if you react the same way you would if it were directed at a group you actually cared about and valued.
  • Let’s agree on a common-sense definition of sexism: A double standard based on the sex of a person.

I hate even compiling a list like this. And knowing there are a 1000 other systemic and governmentally enforced sexist policies. Being a man today is to be reviled, vilified, have the sins of your brothers heaped on you. Someday, we might come to a place where people are treated as individuals worthy of respect. But today, we’re moving quickly AWAY from that.


Michael Barnes
Michael Barnes
Michael Barnes is founder and CEO of Awakened Innovations, Inc. Awakened Innovations helps nonprofits to save time and money by connecting them with high-quality, vetted, service providers. Previously, Michael has been a business coach; Director of Lab Operations at, Assurex Health (a genetic testing laboratory); and built the Cincinnati Biobank and Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. Michael’s overarching passion is to help others succeed and fulfill their mission in life.

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  1. Phew, Michael. Tough one to read.

    I guess for me it’s about fairness and justice for all, no matter their gender, skin color, or anything else that we have no control over. It’s all about the heart inside the person.

    I have lived the life of a white, middle-class woman, so much of the ugliness against others has been at a distance; I haven’t experienced much first-hand except for being Jewish, but that’s not anything obvious to others.

    What I love seeing and learning about is how so many help others live a full life; the more stories I see and hear, the more I remember how wonderful humankind can be.

    And FYI: I love guys. Amazing humans. Can’t imagine a world without them.

  2. Interesting article Michael, although I do see merit to much of its contents, I have to say as well that I see the man of today is not totally dismissed. One of the main things that resonate with me in this article is “judge each person by their character and their heart”. I wish more would give this a try. Thank you.

    • Thanks for the comment Lynn. Hopefully you checked out some of the links and learned a little you might not have previously known.