CLICK BELOW TO REDISCOVER HUMANITY
A DECADE+ OF STORYTELLING POWERED BY THE BEST WRITERS ON THE PLANET

First “The Golden” Rule – Now The “Platinum” Rule?

Most of us have been hearing about “The Golden Rule” for as long as we can remember. Like my kids, I remember hearing about it first in my elementary school days.  It was the first rule of the class–“treat others like you would want to be treated.”  It was not always stated as the golden rule, but that is what it was.

Recently, a friend of mine introduced me to what he called “The Platinum Rule.”  I had never heard of it before.  He said the platinum rule was “Do unto others as they would have done unto them.”  I found this immediately intriguing.  It was a simple way to do teach something I had discovered in my work helping married couples.  This platinum rule had helped me so many times in marriage counseling.  It has helped me in my own family as well. It even helps in work and all other relationships!  In saying this, I don’t want to diminish the Golden Rule, but I have learned there is incredible merit to the platinum rule as well.  When both are applied, relationships can be even stronger.

Here is how it works.  In relationships, we often show love, caring, and concern to people in the way we want to be shown love.  For example, I like to show love by doing things for other people.  Others may like to show love by giving a gift, writing a note, talking on the phone, etc.  There are many ways to show love.  It is always a good thing to show love to someone.  But, what if my way of showing love is not what means love to my wife, my friend, or my children?  What if doing something for them is not really what they want? You can imagine this scenario:  Two people are really in love with each other. They each are trying to show love to each other in the way they would like to be loved, but neither is really feeling love for the other because it is not meaningful to them.  The platinum rule can help with this.  If I focus on treating her like I want to be treated, things will certainly be better.  If I learn how SHE really wants to be treated, it will make things world’s better. I believe if she knows it is really something I don’t particularly like to do, but I do it for her because I know she will love it, it has even greater impact.

I often share this made-up example with people I counsel with.  Let us say my wife likes for the kitchen sink to be clean, empty, and shiny.  Let us also say, I hate doing dishes and do not particularly care what the sink looks like. Yet, because I love her dearly and I know this about her, I do the dishes for her AND I shine the sink just the way she likes.  If she knows me, and knows I don’t get any kicks out of doing this, she will also know I am doing it because I love her.  I am willing to do something I don’t like for only one reason–because I love her.  This gives brownie points big time–platinum points!  When you show love in a way that is meaningful to them, especially if the only reason you are doing it is because you love them, then you are truly showing love.

So, your task is to go and find out from others what means love to them.  You might ask them “What would you have me do to show you I love you?”  You may be surprised at the answer.  Some may say things you never expected.  It may be “Will you make sure the gas tank is always full because I hate to put gas in the car?”  Another might ask you to bring home flowers or gifts more often. One might say to turn off the TV and put away your phone or laptop or game and just spend time talking to me.  Again, you may be surprised. When you learn the loving actions they REALLY want, things can get better quickly. When you know how people like to be recognized, appreciated, and validated it just works better to do it that way. This is the platinum rule!

Jim R. Jacobs
Jim R. Jacobshttp://www.drivinglessonsforlife.com/
Jim R Jacobs is a brave creator who strives to do mighty things! Jim is a Certified Daring Way Facilitator helping others to live more brave and authentic lives! He is the author of Driving Lessons For Life: Thoughts on Navigating Your Road to Personal Growth. Jim speaks professionally, and coaches others to success and living with integrity. He is a counselor, educator, innovator, father, and friend. Please check out Jim R. Jacobs and Driving Lessons For Life and find Jim on social media! Let's connect and dare mighty things!

DO YOU HAVE THE "WRITE" STUFF? If you’re ready to share your wisdom of experience, we’re ready to share it with our massive global audience – by giving you the opportunity to become a published Contributor on our award-winning Site with (your own byline). And who knows? – it may be your first step in discovering your “hidden Hemmingway”. LEARN MORE HERE


2 CONVERSATIONS

TAKE STROLL INSIDE 360° NATION

TIME FOR A "JUST BE." MOMENT?

ENJOY OUR FREE EVENTS

BECAUSE WE'RE BETTER TOGETHER