Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.”
~ Aristotle
[su_dropcap style=”flat”]W[/su_dropcap]HILE CONTEMPLATING on the quote above, I would have to say that Aristotle was addressing a major component of emotional intelligence, empathy. To educate the heart, I believe, it means learning to listen from the heart. Listening from the heart can open us up to be more fully present for the other person, and empathy can blossom. It is in this practice that we are educating the heart and developing the ability to become aware of how others are feeling.
Why is this important? When coaching, the complaint I hear the most is that the person does not feel heard. It is worth repeating. They do not feel heard. We are in the realm of feelings, and what I have learned over 20 years, more than fixing an issue, people need to feel heard. How do we learn to listen from the heart? How does the other person know they are being heard? Can you cultivate empathy if it is not in your nature? Before delving into these questions, let’s explore the components of empathy.
We all know the definition of empathy yet I feel compelled to state it so that there is no misunderstanding. Empathy is a noun and is defined by the ability to understand, recognize, and appreciate the way others are feeling even if it is different than what you are feeling. Being empathic makes you more approachable because you show sensitivity to how others are feeling.
- How do you know if you have an empathic nature?
- How is empathy different than sympathy?
- Is there a way to show empathy and put it into action thus making it a verb rather than a noun?
The field that is receiving quite a bit of publicity on empathy is the medical profession. Research is showing that malpractice suits will decrease if empathy increases. John Butler, MD. consultant for clinicians wrote, “Statistics show that clinicians who are outwardly caring and who spend a little more time than peers do communicating with patients are sued less often for malpractice.” Knowing if you are empathic and finding a way to show it is crucial for improving relationships in any profession.
What, then, does it take to show empathy? What action is needed to make empathy a verb?
Here are some questions to ask to assess your empathy:
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Are you aware how others are feeling?- Do you try to avoid hurting the feelings of others?
- Do you respect the way others feel or do you put them down or tease them?
- Do you care about the feelings of others?
- Does the display of strong emotions bother you or do understand and appreciate what they are experiencing?
- Are you sensitive to the way others feel?
- Do you understand how others are feeling or are you oblivious?
- Are there times you are not sensitive to someone’s feelings? If so, what prevents your from being sensitive?[/message][su_spacer]
Empathy is about awareness, caring, understanding, respecting, and being sensitive to the feelings of others. Turning these into action is the ability to reflect what you heard using the same adjectives that the person used. This is easier said than done, because most people think that when they reflect back what they heard the person saying, they think they are agreeing with the person. Taking the EQi – 2.0 assessment can let you know whether empathy is a strength of yours or if it needs strengthening. For a nominal fee, the EQi – 2.0 assessment shows how you score on empathy and 14 other components of emotional intelligence. If interested, email me at: [email protected]
