If we continue looking to others to receive the energy balance we crave, we continue to feel like a victim when those people are unable to give us what we need. When we remember that it is our job to make ourselves feel good, not someone else’s job, we can find ways to take care of ourselves and can always get what we want if we are not attached to how it happens. If I want the hedges clipped, but my husband has not had the time yet to get the hedge clipper fixed or replaced yet, I don’t have to wait for him to take care of it. And continue being frustrated each time I walk by the hedges and get wet from the extra growth. I can decide what I want and either go get a new cord or hedge clipper, ask a neighbor to borrow theirs, or pay the person that mows my lawn to take care of it for me. I have choices. Choices that allow me to shift the energy balance for myself. Instead of waiting for someone else to give me what I want, I can give to myself so I can stay in balance and not give my energy away to situations where it’s not necessary.
Balancing through the unexpected
While it’s easier to maintain the balance when life goes as planned, many giving situations happen unexpectedly in our lives and can tip the scales for us when we don’t adjust our level of receiving in other areas to balance the energy out. A sick parent, child or pet can demand most of our giving energy and absorb the time and attention we would usually give to ourselves. A job or work situation that has us feel bad about ourselves or the world can take much of our giving energy – even if we are paid well for our efforts. A disrupted home situation can make it hard to tend to our most basic needs including privacy. The allure of potential future fulfillment can keep us working too many hours while ignoring our body and our families, which both need our attention now to stay in good order. Any of these can create a higher than normal energy imbalance between giving and receiving. Sometimes this intense level of imbalance can lead to health challenges – forcing us to receive from others without feeling like we are at choice.
How do we intentionally find the balance?
When we need to pour out a large amount of giving energy into unexpected situations, that is the time we need to find ways to increase the amount of receiving energy we are getting even more. That may mean canceling appointments and using that time to refresh and recharge until the unexpected situation has settled down. It’s important to be clear about what is and isn’t our responsibility so that we reduce the drama in our lives and allow others to have the experiences (and consequences) they require in order to get the lessons meant for them. When we let others have their own experiences, and we tend to our own experiences instead of theirs, we can enjoy and maintain a stable energy balance in our lives much more effectively.
To keep our energy in balance, regardless of circumstances, our job is to notice what drains or refreshes our energy and decide to pay attention to the balance.
Here is a short list from me to jump-start your own exploration:
Now you give it a try – what goes into these boxes for you?
Ready to shift the balance in your own life?