Do you believe we can choose to feel good at any moment? Most of us don’t. We have been taught to respond to what’s right in front of us and feel the feelings that go with that experience. If the experience is something we want, we feel good. If its something we don’t want, we feel bad. There’s not a lot of creating going on that way. It’s more like knee-jerk reactions based on our beliefs about what is good and what is bad.
What if we chose to feel good regardless of what is happening around us? Our feelings are generated by the meaning we give our experience – the story we tell ourselves. What if we chose to focus on a story that makes us feel good, and turn our attention away from a story that feels bad?
This doesn’t mean turning our back on the problems of the world, or to ignore those who we feel inspired to support. What it does mean is not turning our back on ourselves and instead choosing what feels best and most respectful to us in every situation. When we feel good, we generate and attract more experiences that feel good.
Now we are consciously creating a reality we actually want. We are at choice.
Watching the news in the morning may give me the illusion of being connected to the world, yet I am filled with fear and judgment from the polarity and lack of empathy I’m hearing. In my commitment to feeling good, I don’t watch the news on TV any longer. Instead, I choose information sources that let me select the stories I want to learn about, and I get to keep feeling good, even if my husband continues to watch the news.
My dear friend is a professional singer who decided that some of the songs she sang didn’t feel good. Other people loved to hear them, her voice sounds amazing singing these songs, yet the message and vibe don’t make her feel good, so she has stopped singing them. Now when she sings, she always feels good which flows out to those that are listening. A win/win for everyone.
I used to hear my mother say things to me that felt hurtful believing that there was nothing I could do about it without losing our connection. I’ve realized that I can still have a loving connection with her and set limits on what we do and don’t talk about. When I stand up for myself and say no to what feels bad, I feel empowered to take care of myself, regardless of what others do – and that feels good. My job is taking care of me, and it’s everyone else’s job to do the same.
It is your birthright to feel good. You can choose what to do or not do, based on what feels best to you. Feeling bad does not make you mature, an adult, or special in any way, and anyone who told you that is simply justifying their own misery.
What choice can you make to feel good right now?
Sad songs I have to say at times I find peace and joy in them. Great article.
Hey Larry I love that you sometimes find peace and joy in sad songs. I would like to have the same experience. Which sad songs were you thinking of when you made this comment? Thank you for sharing! Happy New year.
Nights in White satin by the Moody blues
Absolutely. I feel so expansive when I hear this.
These days by Greg Allman and Jackson Browne
Thanks for the examples Larry. I so get it. Yup – I can feel the good feeling I get with these sad songs.
Have a great weekend!
Absolutely Aldo. Without that larger perspective, we can’t shift enough to feel and tend to those little things. Thank you!
Being well with oneself is the first thing we need to take care of in order to improve the quality of life, to stay in the midst of others and to bring a precious and constant richness to our lives.
I guess everyone has to find their own method or get help finding it. Personally I believe in these two fundamental attitudes.
It is not necessary to focus and belabour only on small things, but we must strive to be objective and to always have an overview of things. Only in this way will we have a global framework that will allow us to understand others and improve ourselves.
Freedom begins with irony. Irony on small daily misfortunes, on your own faults and on what we usually do not like is the trick to overwhelm and overcome anxiety and sadness. Learning not to take yourself too seriously will make our life much lighter and more free from the weight of seriousness.