Feeling Discarded

If we buy into this story of ‘not enough’, we open ourselves up to be judged and discarded by others based on this inner story we believe is true.

We look to their response to us (did they discard us?) as the evidence of our limiting belief about our ‘enough-ness’. What if there is another way?

Most of us were taught that what others think of us is even more important than what we think of ourselves. We have been trained to look to another’s response and reaction to us, to see how we are doing. When we say, do, or think what we want, we monitor its ‘OKAY-ness’ in how others react – interested, bored, uncomfortable, engaged, satisfied, or disappointed. We make it all about us! As if we have the power to affect others in such a way. The reality is everyone is caught in the same game looking outside of themselves to get the validation, approval, love, support, and acceptance that they didn’t get as a child. Everyone looking outside to see if they are OK based on another’s response is at the heart of feeling discarded.

When we realize that we are creating our own experience both on the inside and outside, we start to move our attention away from how others are responding to us, and over to our inner response about them. We begin to honor what feels best to us and stop discarding our own needs and wants with the false hope of getting them met by others. Here is a wonderful 15 min meditation from Abraham Hicks to help you shift this old perspective.

Our inner child is terrified to fly free and share its authentic self when it believes the ego’s old story of how it’s not enough. The logic is, that if it shares who we really are, then it will be discarded. It’s up to us to make sure that our inner child’s needs are never discarded by becoming the inner parent. You can honor your inner child’s needs by inviting it to share how it feels about other people.  When you use how it feels as the context, you can make decisions that are most loving to you in each situation. Doing what is most loving for that inner child is that antidote to feeling discarded. No one can discard us –WE only turn away from our own needs and self-care.

How will you stop discarding yourself today?


Wendy Watson-Hallowell | The Belief Coach
Wendy Watson-Hallowell | The Belief Coach
WENDY is passionate about enabling individuals, organizations and communities to value themselves and each other in the ongoing process of change. Wendy has guided hundreds of individuals and over 750+ public and private sector organizations to achieve tangible increases in impact and performance. Her successful practice in mentoring and coaching has led to authorship of the book, ‘Live a Life You Love and Make a Living Doing It’. Over the last 30 years, Wendy’s skills have been honed in leadership roles at MTV Networks, The Rensselaerville Institute, and a variety of community based projects in her town. In 2015 she launched BeliefWorks and offers Belief Coaching as a way to address the root cause of what limits the results we can achieve both personally and professionally. This is an 'upstream' solution to change. Instead of changing limiting behavior, she focuses on changing the limiting beliefs that drive that behavior. In all cases, her clients and partners speak to the specific increases in achievement that her consulting, coaching and partnership roles make possible.

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