For years, I have wrestled with insomnia, which doctors agree is the leading cause of my tossing and turning. In order to help my fellow-sufferers, I have compiled a catalogue of suggested remedies, tested by me.
Ambien
Ambien worked fairly well for me. I didn’t fall asleep, per se, but I did believe I was asleep. (In reality, I was scrolling through photos of my ex-girlfriend on Facebook, and accidentally tagging myself in all of them.)
Respecting My Sleep Cycle
When I take even a short nap in the afternoon, I’m up all night. Yes, if I went to bed and woke up at the same time each day, things might be different. But then I wouldn’t be awake at 3 A.M., texting friends in California, “Sup, girl?” And I’d still have friends in California.
Smelling Lavender to Relax
Amazingly, this helped. I bought some lavender and put it in a vase, and for a whole week I slept peacefully. This was eight years ago.
King-Size Bed
I thought I needed more space in bed—hence the ex-girlfriend—but the number of possible sleeping positions in my Carlstadt King is overwhelming. There are positions like pretzel arms, the flying V, the corner ball, and the missing hiker. It’s a tyranny of choice.
Chamomile Tea
Chamomile tea before bed is a very relaxing way to insure that you will need to urinate thirty times a night.
via Failed Insomnia Treatments: One Man’s Journey – The New Yorker.