Excuse Me Waiter – I Did Not Order Duck Sauce On My Chicken

Vantage Points Header Joel ElvesonEXCUSE ME waiter for bothering you but I did not ask for duck sauce to be put on top of my chicken. I ordered the roast chicken with some duck sauce on the side. If my order was going to be too difficult for you to process you should have told me in advance so I could have gone to any local fast food establishment where they have the unbeatable combination of bad service with really bad food. Instead I chose to eat here and look what happened.

No, I have not “flipped my lid” or anything even close. Rest assured I happen to like duck sauce on my chicken especially if it is spicy. Roast chicken I will admit to not being overly fond of. BBQ chicken is also quite good even if you eat it straight from the refrigerator in the middle of the night. Chicken in spicy garlic sauce is a sumptuous dish. The same holds true for general tso’s chicken but only if it too is spicy.

Judging by the content of the first two paragraphs you may have come to the conclusion this is an article based around the various chicken recipes that I enjoy. What I have done in a sense is a “bait and switch” except all I “baited” you was with an introduction that was created to lead into a theme as opposed to the purest form of this practice where people are duped into thinking they bought one thing but were given something else at an even higher price.

The sauce on the chicken is a covering. In the case of a person the sauce is symbolic of covering oneself up to hide something that you do not want known. This may not even be an issue involving your past or any type of illegal or immoral activity. What you are trying to cover up is yourself as you do not believe in yourself despite your obvious talent thus the need to put something on top of you so that people cannot readily see what is underneath.

Part of the function of a recruiter is to uncover what is underneath the you that is being shown. Your resume will only provide a snapshot of your professional background while doing nothing to allow people to see who you are and what you are about. It is that component I tried to convey the importance of to my candidates. How can I help you if you will not open the doors to your inside and let me inside?

There is a paralyzing fear many of us have that if we in a sense dispense with our disguises (coverings) people will not like who we really are. That is not a presumption you should make about yourself. The stars of stage and screen have the best make-up artists in the business along with the finest clothiers to give them that “look.” Underneath all of that superficiality often times is an incredibly unlikable person who has nothing in terms of people skills.

Undoubtedly you have faults. Some of those faults may have led to failure if you did not take ownership of them by trying to eliminate as many of them as possible. There is not a living person that does not have faults. Those who are driven to succeed will have no issue with admitting being faulted but can clearly point out how their personal positives outweigh their faults. The mere idea of a covering is met with scorn.

No matter what you endeavor to be hiding underneath something is an act of cowardice. Cowards do not command respect. Under the cloud of cowardly covering oneself up is the ultimate sign that you do not respect yourself. Therein lies the core of the problem. Utilizing professional help if need be begin the process of rebuilding your foundation.

To have taken yourself from that state of mind to emerge at a later time a new confident person who not only respects themselves who then may very well have a galvanizing effect that draws others to them. As you grow you now inspire others to continue to grow. Inspiring others through your own initiatives can catapult you into being recognized as a top flight leader but one who does not take on followers. True leaders reject the idea of having people look to them for the way to do anything.

Talking about chicken made me realize I also like sesame chicken or even chicken coated with those various flavored crumbs they make nowadays. Lest we not forget southern fried chicken with all of those herbs and spices in it. So for Friday night dinner my wife is making fluffy rice with chicken. You simply have to get this recipe!

Joel Elveson
Joel Elvesonhttps://jelveson.wixsite.com/recruitersite
INDEPENDENT Executive Recruiting By Joel is an "up and coming" Executive Search Firm formed and headed up by Joel Elveson whose visionary ideas, leadership & creativity have brought to life a more "user-friendly" approach to recruiting. His clients and candidates form powerful strategic partnerships that we use to help you. Joel’s Firm offers Permanent, Temporary (case by case), & Temporary To Permanent staffing solutions for all of your Human Capital Requirements. Contract IT/Consultants are available if needed. Above and beyond they are experts (by way of their personal industry work experience) with mortgage, mortgage banking, middle-market banking, accounting, along with many others under the vast financial spectrum of disciplines. Their business goes beyond candidate recruiting as they also train, mentor and develop your internal recruiting staff with an eye towards helping you reduce the cost of hiring. They will also work in areas such as compensation, effective onboarding processes and alike. In other words, their business is to help your business by becoming an extension of you by filling in gaps that cause delay or waste. The recruiting methods employed by Joel’s team are time tested that results in a high rate of successful placements. Joel was trained in the art of recruiting by some of the top staffing industry executives in addition to the best recruiter trainers who to this day drive me to exceed the lofty goals he has set forth.


  1. W O N D E R F U L! Your analogy works very well! Well… let’s go straight to the “special dishes”… I’ve made many mistakes in my life… but I made a HUGE mistake few years ago… I ordered (if I can put it that way), a real treat… instead… against all expectations, I got a stinky rancid chicken… What an unpleasant and regrettable experience!!!…. That’s why… it’s really important to understand the True nature of people. Their Personality.
    That’s why I think we should really get under the skin of people when hiring, more than focusing all our efforts on understanding the level of their expertise, ’cause expertise and character, (and ethic) are disengaged with each other. Thank you Joel!

    • Massimo,
      Thank you for reading and commenting. I wholeheartedly agree with you on the need to understand the true nature of people. One of the points I was trying to raise is the process people need to go through in order to remove their “masks” so they can know who they are. If a person is not sure of who they are or what they truly are about there is a process they must undertake. What are your feelings about this facet of the article?

      • The process is not that easy… understanding ourselves and consequently finding ourselves means facing the truth of ourselves… only then, you might want to take the “mask” off… – Living in the “confort zone” doesn’t give you anything… you need to dive into life and have courage… Diving into life often means suffering… but it is precisely difficult situations that give you more awareness of life and self-confidence… So the question is: are you willing to dive? Mr Doe did it… he doesn’t wear masks… If you have time and feel like, please have a look, and tell me what you think… https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20140728142017-48373692-the-purpose-of-mr-doe?trk=mp-reader-card – Thank you Joel! Thank you very much!

          • Thank you. Thank you very much Joel! Yes… you’re absolutely right… understanding ourselves is a “must” if you want to succeed on the ground of what you really are… I say this because it’s the same difference between Passion (what you really feel deep inside… which is then what you really are able to do) and Desire (what you would like to achieve, which is different from what you are really able to do) – But… most people don’t realize the concept… and its implications in life. Thank you Joel.

            • Massimo, I must agree with you about passion and drive both of which are necessary but at the same time can be irrelevant if you are not completely “comfortable in your own shoes.” Desire as you say is a physical feeling that can be short lived. Passion which as you say is what you feel deep inside may not actually be what you want. These questions can only be answered through thorough self examination. It has been both a joy and a pleasure having this dialogue with you. Your ideas are always well presented while at the same time you ask very deep thought provoking questions. I anxiously await or next dialogue session. All my best.

              • Joel, I think that Passion… your TRUE PASSION (which is not that easy to identify) is what can make you progress…. while desire is… (to name but one example) “I want to become president of the….” well… this exists only as an aspiration… but it does not necessarily mean that you have the necessary qualities to get to that point in your life. Hence, your TRUE PASSION… what you’re great at… is “your real face”…. without mask. In other words… you need to strike a balance between your real self… and your ambitions… aspirations… If you listen too much to your desires… without them being supported by your REAL SELF… well… it may turn out to be just a self-seeking exercise… if not a nightmare…. but when you (discover) and unleash your TRUE SELF… your True passion well.. then…it will be a sort of positive rearrangement of yourself that inevitably will lead to fulfilling your life, to channel your creativity, in business and life, and to achieve success It’s a sort of positive rearrangement of yourself that inevitably leads to fulfilling your life, to channel your creativity, in business and life, and to achieve success.

                • Massimo, You summed things up pretty well with your comment. Without the knowing of your real or true self it is hard to discern ambition, desires and ambitions it is nearly impossible to get a grasp on your future of all facets of your life. Thank you for the depth of your comments. All my best.



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