Last week on 10th October the whole world talked about WHO’s World Mental Health Day through Newspapers, TV channels, and Social Media Platforms. Let’s ponder for a while that does mental health issues exist at the workplace? The answer is YES. Many people with high-pressure jobs find themselves unhappy with their careers, despite working hard their whole lives to get to some senior-level positions. Hating their jobs is one thing – but what happens if they identify so closely with their work that hating their job means hating themselves? Psychologists use the term enmeshment to describe a situation where the boundaries between people become blurred, and individual identities lose importance.
Enmeshment prevents the development of a stable, independent sense of self. While identifying closely with our careers isn’t necessarily bad, but it makes us vulnerable to a painful identity crisis if we burn out, get laid off, or retire. Individuals in these situations frequently suffer anxiety, depression, and despair. By claiming back some time for ourselves and diversifying our activities and relationships, we can build a more balanced and robust identity in line with our values system.
So, what is it about high-pressure careers that too often leads to mental health issues? How do we know if our identity has become enmeshed with our career? Ask the following questions:
- How much do I think about my job outside of the office? Is my mind frequently consumed with work-related thoughts? Is it difficult to participate in conversations with others that are not about my work?
- How do I describe myself? How much of this description is tied up in my job, title, or company? Are there any other ways I would describe myself?
- Where do I spend most of my time? Has anyone from my family or friends ever complained to me that I spend too much time at work?
- Do I have hobbies outside of work that do not directly involve my work-related skills and abilities? Am I able to consistently spend my time exercising other parts of my brain?
- How would I feel if I could no longer continue in my profession? How distressing would this be to me?
If these questions cause us to worry about the degree to which our jobs have influenced our identity, there are ways we can initiate change to understand the challenges faced by our high-pressure careers.
Our Time is Ours
Everyone talks of empowerment and delegation but when it comes to doing that, people become a bit too stingy. Learn to delegate tasks at work to free up time, and (crucially) fill that time with non-work-related activities. This could mean relying more heavily on our coworkers and direct reports, hiring a virtual assistant, or advocating for an intern or someone to help with tasks. Effective delegation does require trust and holding them accountable for what they do of exactly how the work is to be executed, which in itself is a healthy exercise in communication and acceptance.
Slow & Steady Wins the Race
For the new activities outside of work, let’s start small and try out some hobbies we’ve had our eyes on. We don’t have to commit to anything long-term; the idea is to start exploring new things we might want to integrate into our life and our identity. For example, if we want to exercise, don’t go to the office gym. We see the same colleagues there too. Just start walking to work or joining a gym on your own once or twice a week. Small changes like this are easier to stick with, and over time can result in a virtuous cycle of improvement and commitment.
Revisit the Network
As they say in English: “A man is known by the company he keeps”. Let’s learn to reach out to friends and family to revitalize our social circles. This way we’ll end up feeling much better while also establishing a support network for ourselves. Even just reaching out by text, email, or phone call to catch up with people we haven’t spoken to for a while can help strengthen relationships. It doesn’t take much; recent research on adult friendships has shown that having just three to five close friends is associated with the highest levels of life satisfaction.
Learn to Prioritize
First Things First, the famous book by: Stephen R. Covey, A. Roger Merrill, Rebecca R. Merrill talks a great deal on how do we put first things first? This means doing the most important things in life. It means being clear about our priorities and acting upon them. Let’s establish and review our principles and values. What are most important things for us? Think about what we care about in life, and let those priorities guide us toward what’s next.
Look beyond the Job Title
Let’s consider reframing our relationships with our career not simply in terms of our company we work for or title we have or we aspire to have in future, but in terms of our skills that could be used across different contexts. Having a great job and job tile is one thing but that’s not all in life. We must understand that job titles vary and are never the first thing one should focus on in a job hunt or in career progression. The perception of job titles is that they’re extremely important. I’ve seen people get their dream job offer in terms of salary, but they were unhappy because the title wasn’t what they wanted. Remember, a mere job title doesn’t put food on our dining tables or doesn’t pay our bills.
Closing Remarks
The work culture in many high-pressure disciplines often rewards professional who are seen by the senior management for working longer hours with good perks, privileges, raises and promotions. They spend more and more time in the office pay the price for their rapid growth, sacrificing their personal time, family time and so on and so forth.
When high pressure jobs are paired with a big paycheck, individuals can find themselves launched into a new socio-economic class. It isn’t just the homes, cars, vacations, and gadgets that they suddenly couldn’t live without — it was firstly the family, the friends, the social life, dinner parties and the charity galas etc. Remember, our identities are highly influenced by how we present ourselves to others. When someone forms an identity focused around wealth, achievement, and influence, they tie themselves to that high-paying career that got them there.
