The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers.”
~Deepak Chopra
The root of my inability to be open stems from my childhood. (I guess much of who we are comes from childhood, right?)
I remember around the time I was eight years old going to a party at my aunt’s house. Even though I don’t remember the details of the party, I do remember what happened after.
We got home that night and my dad asked me, ”Don’t you think you should be a little more reserved or have a little mystery to you?”I was thinking, “Huh?” What did I say or express at this party that made him say that?
I’m sure I needed to hear that, because who knows what the heck I was saying. And I do believe having some boundaries is important.
But I was a little expressive girl sharing my insides and sharing what I saw and experienced. I don’t believe we should share everything with everybody and “emotionally vomit” on people, but for some reason, that moment really defined me.
I looked up to my father, and since I grew up without a mother, I looked to him for guidance.But now as an adult, I realize that my father was a private, closed person himself. So he was projecting that onto me.As I got older, I continued little by little closing parts of me off.
People used to always tell me, “Lisa, you are such a great listener.” And yes, that is one of my best qualities, and I truly do enjoy people and want to see and hear them. But I rarely give people the chance to see me and hear me.
Read more: Drop the Mask: How to Lower Your Guard & Change Your Life
