Don’t Throw It All Away

The quaint-looking red brick house on the corner with the tall chimney that emitted the pleasing aroma of cedar chips burned to the ground. In an instant all the feeling of everything being well when that house was there was no longer. All that remained were the ashes of the memories or dreams that kept that house standing tall come what may. Though long since abandoned except the for weeds with untrimmed vines creeping up the sidewalls of the house with grass so high thigh-high work boots were needed to navigate your way the house always managed to maintain itself although nobody ever claimed it or could remember who lived there. This was the day that could not be fathomed to be.

As unlikely as this was to happen nevertheless it did. Demolition crews were sent on their way to rip down any trees alive or not that were nearby. The debris that gathered that was essentially useless rubble also had to be disposed of. Anything that looked like it could be something akin to gold, silver or other precious material was snatched up by hands that felt more like gravel as opposed to the soft feeling of human flesh was stuffed into the pockets of worn out odor wreaking overalls. The wantings of greed prevailed that day.

After all of these deeds had been done a crater on a concrete slab begged for a new quaint-looking red brick house with a chimney that would float the enticing aroma of cedar chips all around to be built again. How could it be that something so cold hard and lifeless could transmit these feelings into the subconscious mind of many a human being that passed by on foot who was consumed by curiosity as to what once stood there and why it no longer was.

The neighbors breathe a collective sigh of relief when this blight that darkness clung to finally was no more. Gone was the haven for vermin, rodents, mold, insects of all varieties but nonetheless a home for possibly rabid cats but still the most popular spot for dogs to be walked to in order to dispose of their urine and feces. An unsettling feeling of dread would find its way into the crevices of many a folks mind who happened by. Perhaps an imagined or exaggerated feeling nonetheless it was real to them.

Only those who were members of cult worshippers that believed in evil spirits or even the devil himself (not that he exists or ever has) resided there under the cover of night fueled the fear of foolhardy souls who perhaps were carrying around sack cloths filled to the brim with guilt from atrocities they had committed or at the very least carefully crafted “mistakes.” Feeling they had lay hurt on another in an act that was drooling with malice it was right there their punishment would be administered. This was nothing more than a case of a restless mind lost in thought that created this senseless stupidity which was pushed up head high by tidal waves of absurd superstitions.

That house meant something perhaps in the not so distant past. Constellations of stars illuminated the sky over it. There were lives that lived on the other side of those masterfully crafted brick walls. So simple yet so elegant. A thing of modest simple beauty it was. There are those that will implore to take the memory of this special place in a special time that may have been rocked by turbulence dislodge it from your mind and throw it away in a garbage can like a crushed empty coffee cup along with the rest of your emotions deemed unnecessary for you to by a stranger who knows nothing of you or your life experiences. Don’t throw it all away just because of a part-time social media “behavioral therapist” thinks that is what is best for all. Bad memories, bad life experiences, bitterness, resentment are normal human emotions that may not serve you well but are nonetheless compulsory components to help you grow into a whole person capable of overcoming challenge or adversity.

The remnants of that house had to be hauled away for the purpose of safety to prevent it from becoming a den of disease. So to your emotions must be chipped away from inside of you until they are reduced to chunks to be crushed like an ice machine routinely does to ice. At the end of this pointless exercise is the pretend feeling you are or feel like a new person. When the clock of chaos strikes the new and improved version of you will revert back to the old and perhaps better you. We are not meant to be a carbon copy of each other. Mindless emotionless self-proclaimed “healers” whose main focus is for you to buy their books deserve no space to spew their cases for you to follow their lead.

Hold onto that Red Brick House inside of you as it serves a constant reminder of wholesome goodness. Negativity or trauma that caused it may be your bedfellow for the rest of your life. Five steps to nowhere solutions that lead you into false beliefs you can be “cured’ are far more damaging than the hopeless passivity of a do-nothing existence. I distinctly remember a participant in one of these self-help groups being instructed how to breathe when anxiety cast their shadows on you. When these exercises were finished to no great surprise they came to the realization you cannot breathe your problems or feelings away. Painting pretty pictures or constructing clay sculptures will at best forestall your feelings but do little else.

The pain and anguish felt by the relatives as they watched their loved one’s rocket into space never to return never left their side. Can any of us feel the unimaginable horror of the space vehicle carrying your husband, son, daughter, wife, mother of children explode in front of you as they stood helplessly by with their feet frozen to the ground, The anger from knowing lift off should have never been attempted on that frigid Florida morning will never leave them. Or what of the relatives from the Columbia Shuttle where damage to a wing took hot gasses by the hand to the spot that would start the countdown to death. Is it fair to these people to try to convince them it is best to purge their minds of these events as if they never happened? Mistakes fueled by the hunger for the dollar overrode any concern for the astronauts safety and well being.

Seeing this same advice being given over and over again churns in my stomach until I project the soured milk out of my system. Don’t throw away all of your memories or anything else that holds emotional value to you. You will maybe forgive and forget all the battering blows you endured in time but that time is not now. Only you will know.

The quaint-looking red house bequeathed us not to throw it all away since the consequences of that decision more than anything else can lead your life to ruin while your emotions break you down. The “experts” know from textbooks along with contrived lectures. You being inside your psyche can do more for you than almost anybody can. If during the ebb and low you begin to spin wildly out of control seek out a genuine professional who can help you deal with your feelings better while restoring you to the living breathing, feeling being that you are. I wish you courage and strength as you ride your stagecoach pulled by white steeds to tomorrows caressed by love.


Joel Elveson
Joel Elveson
INDEPENDENT Executive Recruiting By Joel is an "up and coming" Executive Search Firm formed and headed up by Joel Elveson whose visionary ideas, leadership & creativity have brought to life a more "user-friendly" approach to recruiting. His clients and candidates form powerful strategic partnerships that we use to help you. Joel’s Firm offers Permanent, Temporary (case by case), & Temporary To Permanent staffing solutions for all of your Human Capital Requirements. Contract IT/Consultants are available if needed. Above and beyond they are experts (by way of their personal industry work experience) with mortgage, mortgage banking, middle-market banking, accounting, along with many others under the vast financial spectrum of disciplines. Their business goes beyond candidate recruiting as they also train, mentor and develop your internal recruiting staff with an eye towards helping you reduce the cost of hiring. They will also work in areas such as compensation, effective onboarding processes and alike. In other words, their business is to help your business by becoming an extension of you by filling in gaps that cause delay or waste. The recruiting methods employed by Joel’s team are time tested that results in a high rate of successful placements. Joel was trained in the art of recruiting by some of the top staffing industry executives in addition to the best recruiter trainers who to this day drive me to exceed the lofty goals he has set forth.

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    • Lynn, please forgive the amount of time it took me to respond to your comment. Let me first thank you for reading my article. Your comment was very kind of you and obviously much appreciated. Thank you for using the word Shalom which is a nice word. Take care and be well.