Doing It Again

I never thought that I would be pursuing a relationship at this point in my life. But here I am. I have always been a hopeless romantic who believed in soulmates. I thought there is one person out there for everyone that God made especially for them. But now, at 48, I still think each of us has a match but I also think you need to grab happiness and love whenever you can.

I am not saying go out there and sleep with every Tom, Dick, and Harry, as my mom says. Sex is not love or happiness. I am saying be happy within yourself and when you find someone that adds to that happiness go for it because it could lead to love. I used to think I needed a man to make me happy. That is a myth the majority of women, especially, young women believe. I learned that if you are not happy within, how can you add to someone else’s happiness. You can’t.

I believe when it comes to love, you have to pray and listen to the answers with your intuition and your heart. I am the bleeding heart type who tends to fall fast before really getting to know the person and my eagerness usually leads to heartbreak. BUT, change is bliss. I had to trust myself to take this slow. At any rate, the right one will stick around. However, you react to the person sent just for you depends on how open you are willing to be with not only your heart but with your life. I had to really take down some walls and allow him time to break down barriers of his own so we could truly see one another.

No relationship or person is perfect. Conflict will arise. You are constantly learning about one another so you can resolve issues and let them go instead of holding on to them or constantly bringing them up. Let issues go. Learn to forgive easily. Life is too short for grudges and silent treatments. That energy can be spent loving, living, and being in the presence of the one you love.

We all have our faults and flaws. But the key to true love and added happiness is to love past the pain, in spite of faults and flaws, alongside illness, and through the problems and issues. Regardless of what happens, within the realms of forgiveness, never stop loving.


Valerie Collins
Valerie Collins
Valerie Collins was born in Tucson, Az, the last of six children. She has loved writing since a child but decided to pursue a career in Orthopedic nursing. Shortly after her marriage and birth of her first child at the age of 22, she was diagnosed with the chronic pain disease, Fibromyalgia, its subsequent conditions, illnesses, and syndromes. Once the disease disabled her in 2001, she revisited her passion for writing poetry and short stories and has accumulated over 100 poems and spoken word pieces over the years. She became a member of the International Society of poets in 2002 and The International Who's Who in Poetry in 2006. She currently is a member of Realistic Poetry International, Who's Who Among American Business Women, and Women of Facebook Create. Her accolades include 2005 Poet of the Year. She was awarded both the Outstanding Achievement Award in Poetry and the Official Commemorative Poetry Ambassador Medal while serving as a Poetry Ambassador associate in 2007. She wrote a play entitled “Fix Me Jesus” in 2012 for Alabama 1st COGIC State AIM Youth Convention Competition drama category which was awarded second place. Currently, she is in rehearsals for her second stage play for the local playwright, Shawna D. Moore which will be on stage in August 2019. She is in the process of compiling a two-volume poetry book entitled My Poetic Life: A Memoir of Love and a book detailing her life with Fibromyalgia, entitled Behind the Walls of Silence. In July 2018, she created her first blog site My Poetic Life (The Book) as @vfurrmstheblogger to act as a launch for both books and it has taken on a life of its own. She also owns a small crochet business, Val's Gifts of Warmth, where she sells her handmade crochet items.

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  1. Valerie,
    Love the fact that U realized that all the answers U have lie within. Also the human part of us that is vulnerable and flawed. Wow! We must never give up on life and love and yes, “LOVE PAST THE PAIN!” I see that your intuition is serving you well.
    Loved your honest approach! Cheers, Loreexx

  2. My dear Valerie,
    When love drops in, you can’t let it go. I always thought I was a hopeless romantic and never let go of the idea that there is another soul meant for everyone.
    Every love we encounter teaches us what it isn’t and brings us closer to the essence of what we already are and meant for.
    When we find our own sense of worth, we honour love in a higher degree. When we are ready, the Universe opens its arms and lifts us higher….It rewards us with insight and forgiveness.
    Our own happiness encourages us to look deeper and see past the pain of unappreciated love and replace it with the fact, that our own love, is in fact real. The heart opens up more every time you visit.

    My own experience has taught me that real love is truth…and without loving myself first and being honest…I would only be delaying my fate with the wrong approach. Complete cleansing of the spirit, changes destiny’s view.. Acceptance of that love that shows up and never leaves… changes you forever.

    As you quote..
    “ However, you react to the person sent just for you depends on how open you are willing to be with not only your heart but with your life.”
    I add that when real love shows up…what you thought all along from your heart..all that you imagined it would be, how you would feel, the magic, power and added happiness…You just know you were made for this union and grant it all access.
    I believe everything happens for a reason, and love is the only reason.
    Life is to short to spend it outside of the heart and that fulfillment you need is only found when you live in your true heart

    Thank you for this reflection my lady, I read it this morning and just added my thoughts as I am in the moment, in love with life, my God, myself, and now, my true soulmate
    Happy Sunday beautiful 🙏.
    Be true to love and love will bring you truth