In order to allow a new and better phase of your life to happen, you need to let go of the past.
As difficult as it may seem, it’s important to become aware of things that no longer serve you. And, realize it’s time to let them go if you really want to become the best version of yourself.
Some things that hold you back are on the physical plane such as an unhealthy relationship, a dead-end job, or even a bad habit. Another big block to moving forward could be a negative emotion such as anger you’re holding in your mind and heart towards another person or yourself.
In this case, forgiveness is the key and can set you free to write a new story for your life.
Experiencing pain or betrayal at the hands of someone you know well and care for is a devastating situation. Often, in addition to judging the actions of the other person, you blame yourself for trusting, opening your heart, or not knowing better. It’s a natural reaction and a way to try to understand what happened in the hopes it will prevent it from happening again.
It is a good idea to look at yourself and see what lessons you need to learn from your painful experience. However, holding on to those judgments or beating yourself up for your part in the situation keeps you imprisoned long after the incident is over, leading to your own unhealthy consequences – emotionally or even physically. Holding on to anger may result in lingering negative thinking that just prolongs your misery.
Forgiving another person for a slight or wrong done to you is often easier than forgiving self. Many people, particularly those that tend to be sensitive, have trouble forgiving self and that can cause a grave negative self-image.
I myself find to be a very forgiving person. I feel it’s a good trait to have, it’s a good aspect of character. But, it is something that people, very powerful people will use against you.
For instance, some people like to test your boundaries. If they find they cause you trouble and you easily forgive them, they will cause you trouble in the future. People do things because of positive and negative consequences. If you don’t demonstrate something to signify that negative consequence, the action will occur again.
Next is how people perceive someone that is forgiving. Some see it a strength, some see it as a weakness. It depends on the crowd you run with. For instance, I can openly say to the person I’m forgiving “I apologize about this happening” inone group; while to another I have to say “What happened, happened. Let’s move on. Though we are moving on, this does not take away the damage you done that I need to work through.”
When I forgive in business, I start off with “I apologize”. When I forgive someone close to me, I start off with “I’m sorry”. I do this so people reciprocate, like they often do. However, as a man, starting off with saying “I’m sorry” erodes the image of me being a man. It also shows weakness. Sometimes this is good, sometimes this is bad.
Forgiveness should be, and always should be a strength. It’s one of the hardest things to do.
I agree Chris – it is one of the hardest things to do. I’m on the side that sees it as a strength! Thank you so much for your insightful comments.
I believe that being able to forgive another person is a strength. However, forgiving should not be confused with forgetting. Forgetting opens the door for a person to do harm to you again and again.
I agree that forgiving and not forgetting is a good idea at the inter personal level. But when it’s at the business level, businesses need to collective forget certain things, terrible things so they operate better as a company. Forgetting is impossible. But “re-framing” a past tragedy to something positive is not impossible.