Did you know that one of the biggest sources of frustration in the workplace is feeling unheard and undervalued? This insight came to me when I stumbled upon an influencer’s poll where over a million followers voted on the most frustrating thing about work. The top two answers were centered around the theme of *not being listened to* and *not feeling valued*.
As leaders, one of our most essential skills is communication. Effective communication requires excellent listening skills. However, listening is a challenging task, especially for leaders with so many responsibilities and distractions. More often, we listen to respond rather than listening to understand.
What is active listening, and why is it important?
Active listening is a communication technique that involves focusing on the speaker’s words, tone, and intent to understand the message. When we listen actively, we’re not just hearing the words; we’re also paying attention to nonverbal cues like body language and tone of voice. This type of listening requires us to give our full attention to the speaker and refrain from interrupting or jumping to conclusions.
Active listening is essential because it helps to build and maintain relationships, reduce misunderstandings and conflicts, and promote empathy and understanding. By actively listening, we can identify the core issues, help people feel heard, and provide useful feedback.
The Difference Between Listening to Respond and Listening to Understand
Have you ever found yourself planning what to say next while someone is still talking? Or formulating an answer to a question before the person has even finished asking it? This behavior is called listening to respond. Listening to respond means you’re formulating your response while the other person is still talking. This type of listening is self-centered and can lead to miscommunication or misunderstanding. On the other hand, listening to understand means you put your own thoughts and emotions aside to focus fully on what the speaker is saying. You seek to clarify what the speaker is trying to communicate and gather important information to help you form an accurate response.
Tips for cultivating active listening skills
Developing active listening skills takes time and practice, but it’s worth the effort. Here are some tips for honing your active listening skills:
– Focus solely on the speaker: Pay attention to the speaker’s verbal and nonverbal cues without any distractions.
– Ask clarifying questions: Seek clarification when needed by asking open-ended questions.
– Provide feedback: Show the speaker that you have understood what they said without bias or judgment.
– Paraphrase: Restate what you heard in your own words to ensure understanding.
– Avoid interruptions: Never interrupt the speaker, and wait for them to finish before jumping in.
Benefits of Active Listening in Leadership
Leaders who actively listen enjoy several benefits, including:
- Building rapport with their team members
- Improving the accuracy and quality of communication
- Resolving conflicts amicably
- Empowering employees to voice their concerns and ideas
- Building trust and respect with colleagues and employees
Reflection
**Effective communication** is the foundation of great leadership, and **active listening** is an essential ingredient. By truly listening – to understand, not just respond – you will be more present and gain a better understanding of the message of the speaker. It takes time, effort, and attention, but once you’ve developed active listening skills, you can build a more positive and productive work environment. You’ll discover that people are more responsive to you, and communication will become more harmonious. Let’s unleash the power of active listening to unlock our leadership potential!
Useful article. I agree with the points made. I just want to add a brief comment based on the experience.
I believe that listening satisfies many of our basic human needs.
First, attentive listening is a gift that touches a fundamental need for meaning. When people listen to us, they give us their time. They don’t “take” time from us, they give it to us. Which sends us a first signal: I am important.
Second, when a leader listens, we feel we belong – a feeling that is one of the strongest motivators. When we “feel listened to”, it is as if we have “a place at the table”. We feel part of a group — and when the leader listens, we are part of the leader’s group. We are inside.
Feeling heard satisfies a third basic need: to be fulfilled. We have a voice. We have the opportunity to contribute. We are part of the solution.
Active listening, in a nutshell is the ability to know how to listen without interrupting the other, judging or censoring him.
In summary, a communication can be said to be effective when the message transmitted by the interlocutor is understood in its entirety by the receiver, generating meaning and value for everyone.
Active listening corresponds to the activation of a cycle of understanding what the other is saying, which involves suspending one’s judgments and assuming an observer/researcher attitude who goes to discover the other’s world.
This attitude is called by scholars “exotopia” and is easily understandable if one has had the experience of entering a new environment: a job change, the start of a training course on an unknown topic, a trip to the abroad. These are all experiences in which we are called to acquire a new way of understanding things, the typical way of the new context we are dealing with, and we can do it by listening. Exotopia is a process of the mind, a different mechanism from that of empathy because it does not necessarily require emotional activation (feeling what emotion the other feels), but only an involvement in the search for meanings.
Aldo, you know that I always love your responses to my posts, always so well thought out. Have you read my new book on this topic? It’s like you we sitting with me while writing this response. I address much of it there. You have such a great grasp of what true active listening means. Keep being out there an holding all of us accountable for doing it well! H