Dishing Out Love In Leadership

Have you ever wondered why there is so little love felt or shared in many business environments? I have.

Just as much, have you ever wondered why the descriptive adjectives “strong”, “effective”, and “influential” are so often equated with these descriptive images of leadership-in-action: “tough, unflappable, stiff-suited human-god(dess)”; “policy enforcer extraordinaire”; and “super-achiever of 98% change management success rates”? I have.

Even more, have you ever wondered why “the highest ranked Top Dog” person (also known as The Decision Maker) gets to assume the descriptive title of “Leader”, all the while not fully taking responsibility for ALL failures – just as readily as he or she takes the credit for ALL successes? I have.

Have you ever wondered why this simple little thing called “Love in Leadership” is rarely (if ever) mentioned in business settings? I have.

What is Love in Leadership?

Simply stated, “Love in Leadership” is expressing and embodying compassionate, caring concern and kindness toward others. In a nutshell, it involves having the best interests of others at heart in decision making, both in words and in interactions.

Have you ever wondered why this simple little thing called “Love in Leadership” is rarely (if ever) demonstrated in business settings? I have.

Love in Leadership Mixed with Leadership Influence

The influence of a leader is the capacity, ability, or power to change and affect someone or some processes.

In action, leadership influence creates change without directly forcing change.

In fact, that is the amazing beauty of influence: it doesn’t seek to control or force, but rather it simply asserts its presence, its wisdom, and its consistency. Furthermore, authentic influence draws positive human response from its authenticity.

Influence in action is who it says it is and it does what it recommends others to do.

When authentic influence is mixed with “Love in Leadership”, its authenticity and compassionate caring inherently produces change. Furthermore, it positively affects people and processes. In fact, it’s the oft missing ingredient that contributes to legacy failure.

Oh, and by the way, legacy failure is that perplexing outcome where Mr. or Mrs. Unflappable, Stiff-Suited Human God(dess) failed miserably at reproducing a multitude of impactful follower-leaders, who work wonderfully together.

Have you ever wondered why leadership influence is not measured by willing, energized, and empowered followers, as opposed to forced policy-compliant and obedient employees? I have.

What does Love in Leadership Look Like?

First of all, love is a decision. It’s that simple, even while it can be that complex. After all, some decisions can be quite challenging. Often times, it is the less complex scenario that presents the most challenging decision making process, right?

For truly, a love decision is not based on the worthiness of the receiver. Neither can a love decision be forced through compliance or obedience. And, it cannot be “could of, would of, should of’d” into existence! Again, a “Love in Leadership” choice is a decision to express and embody compassionate, caring concern and kindness toward others.

Here’s the deal: Just because you love doesn’t mean that you must marry, or accept an offer, or even ride the train together to the ends of the earth.

Here’s the deal again: love is simply pouring out the best of you for the best interests of others – to help them, teach them, carry them, encourage them, comfort them, and sometimes tell them when they need to just “stop it!”

When you begin to comprehend these truths about “Love in Leadership”, then you can step into that large and fulfilling place of connecting with the greatest purpose of your life. And that greatest life purpose is being and expressing love in action – especially in the business setting!

Furthermore, that place of great purpose connection is really allowing others to experience the one-of-a-kind love that is within you – and only you.

And the untold truth about your unique, one-of-a-kind love is this: it must be shared with others in order to release your own heart fulfillment and joy.

One more thing: It is vital to realize that your love is not shared to control another person, but rather it is shared to propel others into their own destiny fulfillment.

Have you ever wondered why leaders separate one of the most successful ingredients for personal relationships (loving others) from their professional ingredients for success? I have.

Wrapping Up This Love in Leadership Thing

Guess what? Love-sharing in leadership is really a must – a non-negotiable in a successful, balanced life story.

This crazy little thing called love-sharing is one of the most valuable secrets in Wisdom’s treasure chest of Life Truths. Few discover it; even fewer use it; and only a rare handful of people freely give it away – thus receiving the amazing fruit of life’s joy, fulfillment, and leadership success.

Oh, yes, I forgot to mention that deeply and freely giving away love will sometimes cause great pain – when you least expect it and from whom you least expect it! Those you help the most and share the greatest love-in-action with will sometimes pierce your heart the deepest with their betrayal behavior.

So, just begin expecting some hurtful surprise attacks, and it will sometimes hurt a little less, but not always.

Have you ever wondered why this crazy little beautiful thing called love hurts so much, especially when your greatest motivation to love others is to show compassionate, caring concern and kindness? I have.

Nevertheless, I have decided that I will continue to dish it out – meaning this “Love in Leadership” thing! What will you decide about dishing it out?

Devaney Rae
Devaney Raehttp://www.countlessjoys.com/
Devaney’s professional background includes professional Sales, Leadership, and Life Coaching, Instructional Design Technology, Training & Development, and Organizational/ Performance Business Consulting. Devaney is a Certified Professional Coach with Southwestern Consulting. She also established Life On Purpose with Devaney Rae in early 2018 as a way to connect with others who want to Get From Where You Are Now To Where You Want to Be. This effort connects people with professional coaching and a variety of resources to establish second streams of income. Primarily, Devaney works one-on-one with people to create their own Life Purpose Plan. Then, she helps them bring the plan to life so each one can step into their own MORE! She has enjoyed a successful career in Healthcare Administration, Chemical Manufacturing, Retail Sales, Marketing, and within the Non-Profit Business sectors. Devaney earned her Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration from Walden University and her Master’s degree in Instructional Design Technology for Professional Trainers from New York Institute of Technology. She also earned a degree in Dental Hygiene with license to practice in Texas and Louisiana. Devaney is a published author of the book, Countless Joys: The Place Beyond Tears (Westbow Press, 2015). The content is her story about how ordinary people are called to do “the extraordinary” in life. She has a passion for impacting others with life-giving hope, joy, and peace. Devaney established a non-profit organization, Countless Joys, Inc. in 2015. The mission of Countless Joys, Inc. is to Touch the Lives of Others with Joy. The specific focus is on Interrupting Human Trafficking of children and teenagers. Altogether, giving back to others is Devaney’s personal life mission and joy. Devaney makes her home between Fairhope, Alabama and Southwest Louisiana. For More Information about Devaney’s Background and Achievements: Southwestern Consulting. To Connect with Devaney via Life On Purpose: purpose@devaneyrae.com (DevaneyRae.com)

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Ken Vincent
Ken Vincent

Perhaps part of the issue is the conceptual conflict in terms. Strong, unflappable, a rock, and similar descriptive terms create an image. That image for many people is in direct conflict to loving, considerate, compassionate, and caring.

A leader must be able to act in either camp and that is hard. It can also create the image of being inconsistent and wishy-washy.

Bottom line…leadership is a very tricky business.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Truly great insights and comments, Ken. Thank you. Devaney

Chris Pehura

I care about people. I care about their challenges. I care about their fears. This is the soft side to leadership. And this soft side is rarely developed. In environments where being personable is a weakness, any form of love and caring is seen as “wishy-washy”; seen as weak, effeminate, and not that “boo-ya” leader; I had to really go the extra mile to show people I care and at the same time demonstrate that I am a leader.

I remember one time when a guy asked me what would I do if some one I liked missed their deadline. I told him I’ll take the same steps. It doesn’t matter if I like them or not. Everyone I work with expects it.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Put together two words like “leadership” and “love” may seem bizarre or even excessive. Instead, a relationship between these two words really exists.
If we are what we are, we owe it to some meaningful encounters with people connected with us for the role (the teacher, coach, etc.) and others for loving feeling. This is clearly very different interactions, yet they share one aspect: both types of relationships have made us grow, have influenced our training and our orientation, we were made to evolve. Ultimately, both types of report are characterized by leadership. And the leadership, in its most ethical, has nothing to do with power and even with his consent, but rather is expressed through relationship management, so instrumental in improving the quality of life and that of others. If we think back to our best leaders, we find out who are the ones from which we learned more, those who have made us grow, not necessarily the most powerful nor necessarily the most “popular”. True leadership promotes ethical, altruistic, the growth of others. But “love” means just being able to help others to express the best of themselves.
Many signs indicate that this trend is largely in place, this cultural change, to adopt models more consistent with the needs of social and human sciences in enterprises. In the companies feel the growing need to adopt organizational forms based on the liability of each and a widespread discretion guaranteed by a strong political and sharing common goals.
But, try as one might, organizational models based on these principles are struggling to be implemented. That’s why I say that, at least, it is sufficient that the leader was “human.” He should be nothing but who has the fears that have all, but deals with them; has the problems that have all, but manages them. Or at least test there and, precisely because he is human, manages to excite and involve. So, I personally believe that a leader do not have to fight the urge to be perfect but to simply be human, recognizing his vulnerability to experiences as the shame, judgment, reprimand. Admit his own limitations is the key to everything, is a sign of courage and ability to collaborate.

Aldo Delli Paoli

Put together two words like “leadership” and “love” may seem bizarre or even excessive. Instead, a relationship between these two words really exists.
If we are what we are, we owe it to some meaningful encounters with people connected with us for the role (the teacher, coach, etc.) and others for loving feeling. This is clearly very different interactions, yet they share one aspect: both types of relationships have made us grow, have influenced our training and our orientation, we were made to evolve. Ultimately, both types of report are characterized by leadership. And the leadership, in its most ethical, has nothing to do with power and even with his consent, but rather is expressed through relationship management, so instrumental in improving the quality of life and that of others. If we think back to our best leaders, we find out who are the ones from which we learned more, those who have made us grow, not necessarily the most powerful nor necessarily the most “popular”. True leadership promotes ethical, altruistic, the growth of others. But “love” means just being able to help others to express the best of themselves.
Many signs indicate that this trend is largely in place, this cultural change, to adopt models more consistent with the needs of social and human sciences in enterprises. In the companies feel the growing need to adopt organizational forms based on the liability of each and a widespread discretion guaranteed by a strong political and sharing common goals.
But, try as one might, organizational models based on these principles are struggling to be implemented. That’s why I say that, at least, it is sufficient that the leader was “human.” He should be nothing but who has the fears that have all, but deals with them; has the problems that have all, but manages them. Or at least test there and, precisely because he is human, manages to excite and involve. So, I personally believe that a leader do not have to fight the urge to be perfect but to simply be human, recognizing his vulnerability to experiences as the shame, judgment, reprimand. Admit his own limitations is the key to everything, is a sign of courage and ability to collaborate.

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