We never overcome fear by succumbing to it. We can endure and defeat fear if we focus on every step we need to take in the present. And remain flexible with our vision and method of how to get there.
Anxious? Feeling challenged from different fronts at the same time? Sleepless and not just in Seattle? Trust me when I say that we are all there one way or another at the moment. I have yet to see a leader, a team member, a relative, an acquaintance who did not share a feeling of utter uncertainty. It is easy to get lost in emotional stress. My grandmother once said: “You need to feel the emotions, but be careful what you do with them.” What she meant was, lashing out is never the answer.
Curiously I still see behavior that has not been adjusted to the current world circumstances. If you lead with fear, I can only assume you also hold it within you. Do not arm yourself with it.
What are the behaviors of leaders under duress
Do you know if you are an emotionally intelligent leader? Have you tested the degree of your EI? If you have not, there is a concise and straightforward test and post as an example in MindTools: How Emotionally Intelligent Are You. A minority of leaders, unless trained, have a completely balanced scale in people and business skills. Now more than ever, we need to be aware of how the work and family circumstances, health, news, income, and other areas are affecting the way we manage stress. Leaders need to be especially mindful that no matter their emotional level, they need to adjust it to each person on the team. Everyone will have different situations and concerns. As we face pandemic waves that have already proven to have long term impact in both economy and health, emotions cannot be discarded.
The emotions and behaviors that you, as a leader, demonstrate, are filtered through the organization. During the past months, I have seen leaders impacted as an example in the following ways:
- inability or challenges in stabilizing a position
- hidden or veiled anxiety
- uncertainty of actions to take, or vice versa, demanding an enormous responsibility
- spreading fear through negative emotions
- the overall requirement to micromanage and control every step and outcome
- unspoken concerns
- responding to emotions with actions without acknowledged feelings
- changing priorities and direction, personal or business
- blaming others or feeling inadequate, self-blame
- concern for safety, self, colleagues, family members, etc.
- confrontational communication without provocation
- care and concern over self and others
- reprioritization due to current crisis, private and work
The list goes on and is not necessarily positive or negative – it is a fact that feelings are out there. Emotions need to be acknowledged. They also need to be addressed, sometimes jointly, at times in one-to-one meetings. If you, as a leader, do not share some level of emotional awareness about yourself, you will find that others around you will try to keep them locked up as well. While ignoring organizational emotions may seem like a good short-term solution, you will soon find a side effect: lack of innovation and creativity – the two areas we most need when battling unknown circumstances, rapid change, and transformational models. We have already opened the doors to business evolution. The question is, have we embraced the necessary change in leadership evolution?
Emotional and Creative Leadership Revolution
Stress is the “psychological, physiological and behavioral response by an individual when they perceive a lack of equilibrium between the demands placed upon them and their ability to meet those demands, which, over a period of time, leads to ill-health” (Palmer, 1989)
When faced with impossible odds, the best thing to do is to ground yourself to the moment. Be present in the situation you are in – acknowledge your emotions, and prioritize your actions. Many articles today offer excellent advice on mindfulness and relaxation techniques. If you excel in using them, you may calm down in a matter of seconds. Your body responds to how it is trained to respond. If you are looking for ideas, I recommend reading the post by PositivePsychology.com: 62 Stress Management Techniques, Strategies & Activities.
Once you understand what the current priorities for you to manage your situation are, you can take action to know what they are for others and start planning. As the next step, I would encourage you to start thinking in lines of the well-known Six Degrees of Separation. If you are not familiar with the phrase: Six degrees of separation is the idea that all living things and everything else in the world are six or fewer steps away from each other so that a chain of “a friend of a friend” statements can be made to connect any two people in a maximum. You can find a small demonstration of it via Psych2Go video.
The connection between the degrees, emotional intelligence, and creativity is that you need to recognize your first and most essential degrees of relationship no matter the circumstance. The connections, situations, demands, and plans may change, but you will always need your go-to people. And you need to build or keep developing a relationship with them through the available digital means when you cannot meet face-to-face with others. The more communication methods you use, the better so that the meaning of words is correctly understood.
You need to build a very close trust-relationship with your primary first-degree connections (start with, e.g., 5-6 people) because they can and will be your allies in pushing through the crisis we are currently experiencing. What should not be there is a doubt about trusting others. Map out those relationships and the paths where they might lead. I am not suggesting mapping the world, rather your little corner of it. Find your degrees of people whom you can influence to build more trust and collect more ideas.
I absolutely agree there with you, regarding your last paragraph, it really works like that when you not only give your trust but show your trust. You will experience the shift in their mind and see the difference in their dedication towards not only the work, but also towards that goal, it gives so much value to the feeling of solidarity.
I have seen it outside, but also here in my home.
Nobody beats the progress of a team who are driven by trust and togetherness, the ultimate solidarity.
I loved it: “I am not suggesting mapping the world, rather your little corner of it.”
That is just so crucial for the whole process, focus on one goal and just go step by step.
Being realistic, no we are not here to save the world, I don’t think we are able to do so.
If you know how, please share with me 😂🙏
But working on “your little corner” and I do “my little corner” that adds up to the whole process.
Bringing you one step closer to the next step.
Thank you Maria.
Thank you very much for your insightful and valuable feedback! The enormous pressure that comes from uncertainty needs a balance, and the answer is in all of us. Like you say, step by step. I wish I knew the way to change the world :), but then again, I also feel that perhaps we only grow by having to do the work. I felt somewhat overwhelmed, to be honest, what to say to our audience in a time like this. It makes your positive feedback all the more valuable! Thank you, and take good care, Ineke
Thank you so much Maria and most important very happy that it was valuable to you!
And the audience or other people will always appreciate honesty coming from a sincere heart Maria. If the questions is “to be honest, what to say to our audience in a time like this.” nothing wrong with sharing that, showing or own vulnerability, makes us nothing more than human.
Thank you, be safe and well Maria!
Thank you, Ineke, much appreciated! Take care as well!