What is it that has us feel that certain events or circumstances are destined in our lives?
That situation just came together in the most unexpected and surprising ways, and at the same time, it felt like it just HAD to happen? Those people in the high school yearbook that were predicted ‘most likely to succeed’ and they did? The life-changing car accident? How could we know? Could there really be a ‘script’ or ‘contract’ that we agreed to before incarnating each time around?
In working with many people who have faced devastating loss or suffering of themselves or their family, I came across the work of Robert Schwartz who wrote Your Soul’s Gift and Your Soul’s Plan both focused on pre-birth agreements we made before being born. He covers stories of people who planned physical illness (AIDS and breast cancer), having disabled children, deafness, blindness, drug addiction, alcoholism, losing a loved one, and severe accidents. As you read these experiences of others, it becomes clear that there is a bigger picture going on. One that we signed up for before we came in was designed by us and supported by those around us to assist us in our exponential collective growth and expansion.
So, if it’s all predestined, then where does free will come in?
Free will gives us the freedom to choose to experience either suffering or joy as we travel along the journey we signed up for before we were born. I may not want the car accident, in this 3rd-dimensional body, awareness, and experience, even if my soul agreed to it before I incarnated. Yet, I have a choice about how I relate to that car accident. I can bemoan the fact of what has changed in my life as a result of the accident, or I can delight in the gratitude to be having the conversation in the first place!
The soul would never choose something that wasn’t for our highest healing good and our greatest joy even if the ego doesn’t understand what is happening. Our ego, on the other hand, can talk us out of focusing on what is for our highest healing good. The ego’s mistake is that it focuses on the ‘how and when’ of what we desire, which can generate a great deal of disappointment and suffering when we attach to the outcome we want. If things don’t go as we expect or we want (the how and when), we feel like we failed or were betrayed somehow. I used to feel ‘unprepared’ when the how and the when didn’t go as I expected. It had me feel vulnerable to others hurting me or saying things about me that weren’t true, and I felt like I couldn’t do anything about it – A very old childhood trauma that my ego takes advantage of in trying to protect me in that old way. I now know, that when I focus on what I want and why, and then generate the feeling of gratitude for it as if it’s already happened, I am back in my lane, and using my free will to focus on what I want and allowing the universe to support me in how and when it happens.
While I chose the larger lessons and events, and even some relationships, before this incarnation, I am the one here now. I get to choose what those experiences are like in each moment. I can focus on what I don’t want and bemoan my suffering, or I can focus on what I’m already grateful for and remember there is no need to know what is going to happen. When I create the experiences I want in this moment (gratitude), I am creating (attracting/vibrating with) more experiences in the future that make me feel grateful. Exactly what I want!
What can you do to integrate destiny and your free will today?