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Dear Janet… Is Housework Split Evenly in Your House?

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Dear Janet,

My husband and I have a running argument that is going to destroy our marriage.  I’m sure it’s a disagreement most marriages have actually, but it’s building a lot of resentment in our house, and we fight about it constantly.

We’ve been married a year, and I already feel like his personal maid.  He’s not particularly messy, but he doesn’t do ANY housework unless specifically asked.  I’m getting really tired of it.  He rolls his eyes when asked to do anything and takes forever to do it or does a terrible job at it.

He acts like he is “helping” me when it comes to everyday normal housework.  I resent this so much.  It reflects an attitude of “it’s my responsibility, so if he does a chore, he is helping me.”

Yes, he does take care of the maintenance of the yard and the cars, but these are not chores that need to be done every day or weekly.  I already do most of the cooking, but I’m more alright with this, because I like to cook.

We can’t afford an actual housekeeper to come in and clean for the two of us.  We both have jobs outside the home, so I expect the housework to be split equally, not a second job just for me.  How do I get him to understand, I’m not a “house”wife?

The Unwilling Maid in Idaho

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Janet Schlegelhttp://www.soulworkcounseling.com/
JANET Schlegel is the Owner and Founder of Soul Work Counseling in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She specializes in trauma and relationship issues.

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