Nothing can dim the light that shines within.
– Maya Angelou
It takes considerable strength to dare to dream. To dare to be the one chosen to bring something special and wonderful to the world. It means that you’ve taken the step of defining who you are at a soul level. You are daring yourself to live up to that soul destiny. When you dare to step out on the ledge, you realize that you are making yourself vulnerable. Those who dare greatly can fail greatly. In fact, failures are a given. You can’t step outside your comfort zone and not have some failures in your life.
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
– Robert Kennedy
When you reach up to touch the sky, you will almost always find that there are those who want to knock you down. You can’t listen to the bullies of the world. You can’t let fear run your life. Your assignment, your commitment, your intentions are all too valuable to be derailed by the lies and hatred of those who can’t stand in your light.
Advice is like snow. The softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon and the deeper it sinks into the mind.
– Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Some poems have so much learning in them, that it blows your mind. Some truths are so universal and so grounded in absolute truth, that they define all cultures and times. I think that the poem “If” by Rudyard Kipling is one of those poems. It was brought to my attention again when I read a blog that I subscribe to. There is such a depth to it that I am only talking about a small part of it. The part that relates to the courage we need to rise above all the drama that tries to attach itself when we are daring greatly. I will print the entire poem at the end.
Throughout life, people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.
– Will Smith
I am only talking about the first stanza because we have seen so many people lately get caught up in violence, both with terrorism and workplace violence. They fight against those that have different beliefs than themselves, as though having a difference of opinion makes theirs less valid. They don’t understand that we can hold opposing viewpoints and not have to label one as right and one as wrong.
You don’t have to disrespect and insult others simply to hold your own ground. If you do, that shows how shaky your own position is.
– Red Haircrow
True warriors know that they don’t need to resort to fighting to be strong, to dare greatly and face the wind. They can face the wind because they know what it takes to be different, and still be grounded in a fullness and ease of spirit and grace. When you face the wind, you lift yourself up above the opinions of others. You step into a space of knowing that what you are creating, manufacturing and generating is your own successful life. You are fulfilling your destiny by daring to touch the sky.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain. It takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
– Dale Carnegie
One of the hardest things to learn as you mature is that while people can say or do nasty things to you, you don’t have to get down in the mud with them. Politicians in general (there are some who don’t feel it is necessary to degenerate their opponents to make a valid point) seem to get into name calling wars. As adults, we are often disappointed when we see that even though someone may old enough that you would think that they would have matured beyond the need to build up their own egos by tearing down someone else’s, they continue to behave badly. Sadly, we see this kind of behavior not only in politics, but also in our jobs, in our families, and among our friends.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
– If by Rudyard Kipling
Bullies and cyberbullies are becoming way to common. I think that the leaders of all of the countries around the world need to understand, that when they act badly, it sets the tone for others to do so. I can remember trying so hard to teach my children that people who bully others have a very low opinion of themselves. They usually are being bullied themselves or were bullied when they were younger. They attack without reason because in their minds they believe that if they hit first and hit hard enough, they are in fact protecting themselves. They are hurting so badly that they need to hurt others. I wanted them to be able to understand why someone would be mean, spiteful and say things that they knew were not true.
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
– If by Rudyard Kipling
How does a person listen to the lies that someone else tells or feel the pain of being hated, and not go down the same road in displaying that behavior back to the person who is hurting them? Remember the childhood rhyme, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Or the “I’m rubber your glue, bounces off me and sticks to you?” We tried to pretend as children that whatever mean hurtful thing was being said, it didn’t affect us. But it did. We tried walking away, but usually, they just followed us. So we became small, withdrawn and tried to take up as little space as possible. We wrapped ourselves up in silence and disappeared.
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.
– Tim Fields
How do we go from that child who tried to disappear to the adult who steps out on the ledge and says, “Look at me – I am daring to stand up and touch the sky, to make a difference in the world.” As an adult, we could still be telling ourselves that we will be ok. We could kill them with kindness. Or deflect it saying that their energy or vibration was way below ours. Or you pretend that all their negative remarks did not even phase you, hoping eventually it would be true. It isn’t just about surviving something. Because if you are only surviving then you are still being a victim of the bullying, even if it happened years ago. It is about forgiving and letting it go. It is about being free of the drama and leaving it behind you. It is about living a thriving lifestyle.
If it is still happening in your life now, then think about this – what in your case is “the ball”, and how can you take it and “go home”?
The way to work with a bully is to take the ball and go home. First time, every time. When there’s no ball, there’s no game. Bullies hate that. So they’ll either behave so they can play with you, or they’ll go bully someone else.
– Seth Godin
Put another way, don’t add fuel to the fire. Without your fuel, the fire will go out. How do you get into this frame of mind? How do you not feel that you have defended yourself, defend your reputation, defend that your rights? You stay in your own lane. You keep dancing to your own rhythm. Yes, it might be that some people who don’t know you well enough will listen to what the bully is saying and repeat it. What is done in the dark will come to light. Time has a way of showing people’s true colors. Eventually, if you stay in your lane, and keep your own internal rhythm strong, people will recognize who is living the good life, and who is the one trying to tear others lives apart.
Dance and make the song you sing your prayer. Sing it courageously, and with each step strengthen yourself with the knowledge and wisdom of your elders. So whatever next happens you can survive and not lose your rhythm.
– Red Haircrow