Featuring Gina Roda
Loving myself is the most important change and mission in my life.
As I crawled into bed, I prayed with fervor for a clear understanding of my life purpose. I prayed for healing in my life, including my relationship with Danny. We had not spoken for the six weeks since our break-up. But I missed him and was afraid we would never see each other again. Confused, I needed an answer from God!
Danny, my beloved, was a study in light and dark. He was a brave Spirit Warrior, both fearless and careless. He deserved to be loved and nurtured, but until me, he never had been! Danny and his six siblings had grown up in Benson, Arizona. His impoverished Apache/Yaqui/Mayan family lived in the shadow of the trucks rumbling down a freeway that sliced through the desert. Danny had dreamed of becoming a trucker and owning a truck; when he finally accomplished that, he felt he had found the last piece of the puzzle.
His life was chaos, drama, and trauma.
Danny had lived a wild life of tragedy and addiction. He spent time in prison after shooting a drug dealer in the kneecaps. His sixteen-year-old son drowned in a lake, and Danny never recovered from the loss. His first wife committed suicide at the age of thirty-three. His daughter was kidnapped and sold to people he didn’t know, and he didn’t find her again until she turned thirty-six. He had a tortured heart, but he deeply loved his family.
His first words to me were, “I know you’re the woman who will tame my soul.” My soul would never be the same after that.
Now, I only wanted to hold him close to my heart, hear his voice express unconditional love, and say our nightly prayers together.
At 2:35 a.m., I prayed, “Heavenly Father, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done. Please guide me. If I am supposed to be with Danny, show me in a way that I understand—and if he is not for my highest good, please remove him from my life in a way I understand.” I drifted into a troubled sleep about two hours later.
The next morning, I awoke with a heavy feeling.
It was as if I had traveled through the Dark Night of the Soul during the night. Something felt seriously wrong. I sought a healing from a friend, hoping she could help me balance my spinning energies.
The phone was ringing when I returned home. It was my dear friend Annette, a Yaqui medicine woman who was also a good friend of Danny’s family.
“Gina, did you receive my message?”
“No, what message?” I asked.
“I’m sorry to tell you this. Danny died early this morning, at about 2:45 a.m. He was killed in a hit-and-run on the freeway.”
My heart stopped. I couldn’t catch my breath. The life I had known shattered into a thousand pieces as I listened in disbelief. This was my worst nightmare! Why would Danny choose to leave in this way?
Annette said, “He was called out for a late-night tow, helping young teens who were stalled and drunk on the side of the freeway. A trucker hit him as he was walking in front of his vehicle.”
The details were too painful, too devastating, but she continued. “They believe he was killed instantly. The truck driver left him splattered across the freeway and never looked back or tried to help him.”
My mind screamed, No! No! No! He never said goodbye or made peace with me.
“Because it was a hit-and-run, the accident is under investigation. His body was taken to Tucson for an autopsy. There’s no way to see him.”
I hung up the phone and sobbed. Then, I suddenly realized he had died about fifteen minutes after my prayer. What had I called forth? Was my prayer answered in this terrible way, or was it just his time?
The agony in my heart was unbearable. My soul was shaking.
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Editor’s Note: This excerpt is from just one of many Sacred Stories of our time. Powerful voices from around the globe that speak to our shared human experience. May they inspire you and give you great hope. Order your personal copy of CHAOS TO CLARITY: SACRED STORIES OF TRANSFORMATIONAL CHANGE today and discover hope for the future and a blueprint for your life ⤵︎
Gina Roda is an intuitive soul. She receives messages for others all day long. Her love story with Danny was filled with so much of life’s experience on th high and low end of life. Reading that there was separation of a relationship just weeks before he got killed was hard to digest. They didn’t get to say goodbye. The fact that he left 15 minutes after her prayer to God is soul chilling. Talk about finding one’s way after this type of tragedy is beyond hard to conceive, but one thing about Gina, she is one to understand the meaning of surrender and all that pain and heartache had to be surrendered at some point in order for her to clear the slate of a tragic history of unbelievable grief. If it wasn’t for all the inner work she has done in her life to rely upon I’m not sure how she would have regained her balance of heart. This was a life/soul lesson on a few levels and I believe that she has risen above the pain so that she can truly see the beauty in real life. Right here, right now. I believe that this experience and memory of love and deep loss has allowed her to feel deeply with others walking similar corridors. May blessings be noted daily in her life as she continues to be of mighty service to those who are seeking peace.
Heart capturing. The pain and finality of life changing moments. The need to learn from them and then try to carry forward.
Gina Roda’s story of Love and Loss is so beautiful. I could feel the love and pain in every word. Sharing.