Success is not final; failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
― Winston S. Churchill
I dove into the Atlantic Ocean last week and swam as far as I could…
In every stroke, I could feel the blood in my veins shift from freezing, to cold, to bearable to comfortable.
And the moment came where I was completely relaxed, and a tear slowly fell down my cheek.
I am not sure I have felt more alive in my own skin.
Why was I here? And where did I find the courage to dive into the cold unknown? What was my motivation? And why now and why here? Was there something to prove? Or was there a hunger for something I did not know?
My lesson here was it took some bit of courage to step into an experience. It took courage to step outside of my comfort zone and face the fear of failure.
Success or failure, I have found that my true growth comes from my growing edges of discomfort.
This also made me realize that courage is not always about ‘doing’ something. It can also be found in our words and our feelings.
There have been countless times in my adult life that I have had to flex this muscle and learn from every misstep or miscalculation along the way. I have found that courage takes courage to do something that is scary, frightening, and super uncomfortable. Inside my vulnerability, I found bravery, inside my bravery I found my voice.
These lessons below were passed along to my children through birthday letters written with love and the knowing that lessons worth learning are worth sharing.
Reflecting on a few past journal entries, I was able to identify a variety of layers of courage:
Physical courage: (current example of diving in the ocean)
Know your comfort zone and then step outside of it…
Your comfort zone feeds your confidence, and the steps outside of it will fuel your courage and expand the view of your own possibility. You will find a part of yourself when you become comfortable being uncomfortable.
The art is dancing in-between the two worlds. It is important to know that both will serve you if taken in instinct and truth.
Say what you need to say; even if it’s hard…
Find your words and trust your truth. If you are completely honest with your feelings with no ego or agenda attached, nothing or no one can hurt you. Finding the courage and confidence to express your thoughts in a neutral and loving way will be a game-changer for you…and the world.
You know what you need to do and have weighed the odds and calculated the risks.
Some of the components in cultivating calculated courage.
Confidence to stand up, speak up and step up. You know what you must lose, but more so what you must gain. Your voice is crucial and necessary – in relationships, in your community, and in the world.
Courage to trust your instincts. If you are second-guessing your choice, it is probably a NO. Your heart will speak louder than your head.
Strength to keep talking when you are tired or frustrated. Your unspoken feelings and words can become toxic if covered for too long. Keep the conversations alive.
Curiosity to nurture your relationships. Your questions will reveal the details of the past and the possibilities of the future. Stay interested and engaged, it will keep you connected at a heart level.
Commitment to practice being present in every situation. There are zillions of distractions that will hijack your thoughts. Stay awake, alive, and focused on where you are in the moment.
I am finding that every day we are asked to experience courage in some way shape or form. It is all in what we choose to do, choose to speak, or choose to feel at a level that is uncomfortable yet life-affirming.
May we all find the courage to fall, fail or succeed and then do it again, again and again.
Is there something calling to you that requires courage?