No matter how happy someone may seem, they have moments when they question if they can go on. No matter how confident someone may look, there are times when they feel insecure and unsure. And no matter how strong someone may appear, they have days when they feel like they’re falling apart. Never think for a moment you’re alone with your struggles. You’re not a mess. You’re human.
– Lori Deschene
Most of my friends and relatives consider me a very positive person. Someone who can handle whatever life throws my way. A person who will look and look until she finds the silver in the silver lining of the cloud. But there are days when I think that I am not capable of helping myself, let alone others. There are days when I feel like I am not having a positive impact on anyone. There are days when I look at everything I am trying to accomplish with my life and wonder why I am bothering – when it feels like I am working so hard and getting nowhere fast.
To attract loving and connected relationships, we must first embody the love and connection we seek.
– Dr. Debra Reble
Those days happen to every one of us, no matter how strong we think or others think we are. When they do happen, I have a story that I pull out to remind myself that I am creating ripples even when I don’t know who those ripples are helping.
A couple of years after my mother had passed away, a friend that used to babysit my kids when they were little and she was a teenager, lost her daughter (a senior in high school) in a bus accident. She was having a really hard time and we were talking about her loss. I really don’t remember what I told her, but I know that it had to do with something I had brought out of the loss of my mom on how to deal with grief and heartbreak.
Years later she was at my mother in-laws funeral and she came up to me to thank me for those words. She remembered them all. They helped her through the dark tunnel of her grief. I had no idea that anything I said could be that impactful. I know that with her own experience she also was able to give those words to others when they were dealing with overwhelming grief. What I don’t know is how many ripples those words have made in the lives that they are still continuing to impact.
Make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive, nourishing and uplifting people – people who believe in you, encourage you to go after your dreams, and applaud your victories.
– Jack Canfield
To be truly happy, you must have connection in your life. First the connection must be to you. To your life purpose. To personal growth. To being the best possible you, that you can be. Self love, self trust, being honest with yourself. Then connection to friends, family, to a mission, vision or cause is vital to live a life that brings us satisfaction, fulfillment and happiness.
It’s also about the way we think about things that are happening – are they happening “to us” or “for us”? Do you look for the silver lining? Do you assign the best possible meanings to what you see and hear around you? Or does that negative mind talk take over and make us feel unwanted? Like we are a mistake, that all we do is make mistakes, that everyone is judging us?
Don’t focus on what’s wrong. Things may not be perfect but be grateful for the opportunity to experience each day. Live each day like it could be your last.
– Joel Osteen
What so many of us do, is see ourselves only through the lens of our past mistakes, our regrets and failures. You are so much more. There is a beautiful person hiding inside each of us that is vulnerable and afraid. Fears of not being worthy, not enough. Fears of being hurt because someone hurt us in the past. Whenever this beauty seeks to emerge we push it back out of a multitude of fears.
Think of the caterpillar all wrapped up in the chrysalis. He has transformed into a beautiful butterfly. It is time to break open the lining, spread out the wings to unfold and dry, and take flight. But in fear he keeps grabbing the sides of the lining to try and stay hidden. It’s a scary world out there. What if he is the one butterfly that can’t fly? What if he falls out of the chrysalis and goes smashing down on the ground? What if a passing bird eats him? All these fears overwhelm him and he tries to hide himself to keep him safe. Yet the real danger is in staying hidden.
Daring greatly means the courage to be vulnerable. It means to show up and be seen. To ask for what you need. To talk about how you’re feeling. To have the hard conversations.
– Brene Brown, PHD, LMSW
Just like this butterfly, we think that we are providing safety hiding behind a mountain of buried pain. It is time to tear down the mountain. To remove every single brick of the walls that we have built up. To put down the suitcase of our past and walk burden free into our future. It is time to spread your wings. It is time to fly into the future you are meant to have. Yes there will be failures as you learn to soar, but you have the potential and gifts to live a life full of possibilities that become your reality. But nothing will happen, until you try.
Resolutions for the Soul – No more what if’s…, no more wondering what if I tried that, started that, said that, told that person how I really feel, went on that adventure. No more wondering what if. Starting now, we do it, try it, step out, start, take the risk, make the leap. We make a vow to stop living wondering, what if…,?
– Rob Bell
Quit collecting every painful word that is spoken to you or about you. Quit putting meaning to thoughtless words and actions of both yourselves and others. Since every experience is seen through your minds eye, change your mind and start collecting hope. Start putting the best meaning possible into what you hear. Start viewing your world through the lens of compassion, both for yourself and for others.
Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings.
– Elizabeth Gilbert
When you focus on leading a creative, positive, inspirational life fear is going to raise it’s head. Fear is always triggered when you pursue change. Change is growth and growth is something to be happy about. Do you remember as a child standing against the wall and measuring how tall you were? How you would measure yourself against your friends and family members who were taller than you to see if you had grown to the same height or gotten taller? You couldn’t wait to grow. Instill that same feeling into your own personal growth. Fear hates it when it doesn’t know for absolutely positively how something is going to turn out. Uncertainty is something that fear can’t stand. But you can change your relationship with both fear and uncertainty.
Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self acceptance.
– Brene Brown, PHD, LMSW