Crack the Code of Authentic Living

Hi there, fellow leader, reader, and growth seeker!

Have you ever felt that something is missing in your life? Or have you ever had the feeling that you’re living someone else’s life, not your own? If so, then this article is for you. In it, I’ll share five simple things you can implement instantly that will help you start living more of an authentic life.

Start with Awareness

Hiding your authentic self behind a ‘ fake mask’ is a growing problem in a fast-paced world full of expectations, information overload, fake news, and uncertainty, which is creating a cosmic trail of emotional, mental, and physical health issues, and a significant rise in unemployment, leadership failures, and acute social confusion.

When something doesn’t feel right, become aware of what your thoughts, feelings, and emotions are trying to communicate. This means paying attention to the natural triggers and what they ask of you. It also makes you aware of what you tell yourself about yourself and the world around you. It also means noticing how you act daily and how you feel each moment.

It sounds simple enough, but it’s not easy!

The mind has a way of numbing us out of our awareness so that we can continue living our lives unaware of how our outer reality is simply a reflection of what is happening inside us.

The good news is that this skill can be learned with practice and time!

Accept and Honour Your Feelings

One of the worst things you can do is to have an unhealthy relationship with your feelings. Here is something you can do to change the way you look at one of the most potent weapons you possess-your feelings:

  • Don’t judge them as good or bad, right or wrong.
  • Don’t ignore them.
  • Don’t try to change them.
  • Don’t make them disappear by suppressing them or pretending they’re not there—they are there!
  • Observe them objectively.
  • Treat them as necessary feedback.
  • Neutralise them by uncovering the hidden benefits and drawbacks.
  • Learn more effective ways to engage with your feelings.

And it’s okay to feel but not let what you think to take over you; you’re human after all!

Focus on You

Every challenge that comes your way is life’s way of forcing you to grow and be more authentic. Being a people pleasure may work for a while, but in the long run will leave you feeling even more alone, disempowered, and resentful. Before you can spend time helping others, here is what it is wise to do:

  • Focus on yourself and your needs.
  • Focus on what you want.
  • Focus on what you are doing right now.
  • Focus on your feelings, thoughts, and desires at this moment.
  • Focus on your goals and dreams for the future (and act toward them).
  • Focus on why you are living this life–for example, to be all you can be, to find life’s mysteries and share them for a greater good, to be the next genius, in service of God, family or community obligations, purpose/mission statement from school or work experiences?

Identify Your Power

When the tough gets going, many people feel they have little control over their lives. At such moments, you must remember that you are the only one who can decide what you want to do with your life and what kind of impact you want to make. Others may tell you that “you’re not good enough,” or they will try to take away your power by telling you what should be done, how it should be done, and when it should be done. But don’t let them tell you any of these things!

Instead: identify your authentic values, create an inspiring vision beyond oneself, and let yourself be free! Do whatever makes sense for YOUR situation—not anyone else’s. Trust yourself and use your authentic voice when considering decisions that affect your life.

Take Action

No matter who I serve and what problem I help my clients solve, one thing they all have in common is failing to take the actions, the decisions, and the choices that will get them the results they deep down seek.

  • Take inspired actions.
  • Have a list of high-priority actions aligned with your vision of excellence.
  • Make informed choices.
  • In the words of Benjamin Franklin, “Do not delay in doing what you can do today.” If you want to live authentically and make your life better, it’s time for you to start taking action. Start small and work your way up from there. Don’t let fear hold you back from doing what you know is right for yourself!

By focusing on these five things, you can start to live authentically.

  • Take time to be aware of your feelings and use them to your benefit.
  • Accept that your feelings are not you; they are temporary and change with new awareness.
  • Honour all of your feelings, the ones you perceive as good and evil.
  • Focus on investing your energy, money, and time in growing yourself in the present, and not ruminate about your past.
  • Identify what power you have now and use it to make informed choices and decisions and take inspired action.


I hope you found this helpful and gave a few ideas for living more authentically. Those of you who want to explore further the fierce scientific, psychological, leadership and business impact of wearing ‘masks’, feeling stuck, powerless, out of control, and being a people pleaser, disengaged, and unproductive at home and work – start reading The Unfakeable Code® – Take Back Control, Lead Authentically and Live Freely on Your Terms.

There are no shortcuts to being more authentic; it takes determination and dedication to make it happen! If you stick to being more aware of what your inner being and outer reality are trying to tell you daily, then a more authentic life follows.

Love and Wisdom


Tony J. Selimi
Tony J. Selimi
Born in 1969 in Gostivar, Republic of Northern Macedonia, Tony Jeton Selimi moved to London in 1990 at age 20 to find a haven from the atrocities of the civil war he had to fight. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, he went from living homeless and penniless to an internationally recognised authority and a leader in personal, professional, leadership, and business development, professional speaker, an award-winning author, transformational life and business coach specialising in human behaviour, emotional intelligence and maximising human potential. Tony assists people from all professions to break through mental imprisonment, addictions, fears, depression, phobias, and limiting beliefs impacting their personal, relational, professional, business, and financial lives. Through his coaching and training business, and proven methods, his clients build the solid foundations and emotional resilience needed to create memorable and lasting spiritual and material transformations. He is dedicated to enabling individuals to take their education, expertise, and experiences and turn them into self-empowerment opportunities, a calling for commitment beyond oneself, and leverage their transformation to create more significant income and impact in meaningful entrepreneurship of career path. Businesses from all market sectors seek his expertise to turn their challenges, frustrations, and pains into steppingstones, map out clear values and purpose-driven vision, and a detailed plan and strategy for improving business performance, employee engagement, retention, communication skills, and performance.  He is an executive producer of The Truth About Reading documentary, co-created the Living My Illusion – The Truth Hurts award-winning life coaching documentary on Amazon Prime, created the Into Your DivinityDocumentary Series, and pioneered several trademarked methodologies in human development. Winner of the London SME Most Visionary Entrepreneur and Corporate Coaching and Recruitment Business Coach of the Year Award. Winner of multiple book awards for A Path to Wisdom, #Loneliness, The Unfakeable Code®, and A Path to Excellence. Tony is no stranger to the media, appearing in various TV, Radio, and Podcast shows, including being interviewed by Jack Canfield and Brian Tracy for ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, BBC, and their affiliate channels, reaching over 100 people worldwide. For bookings and further information, please go to

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  1. Finding one’s own path is a task that can commit us for an entire existence, but this does not mean that we should not strive to have greater awareness every day about what we really want and what direction we intend to take to achieve it.
    To have a meaningful, valuable and ultimately happy life, you need to find out what ingredients to put into it. This will allow us to have a real compass that will orient us.Personal values represent the frame around the “canvas” of one’s life: they guide choices, give structure to one’s path, give meaning to what we desire.
    But let’s not pretend to be Gandhi or Mother Teresa of Calcutta. We choose the values that truly inspire us, not the ones we deem “right”. Instead, let’s become aware and understand that we must be authentic, otherwise the exercise would have been useless: let’s put aside our beliefs and choose only the terms that excite us.

  2. Thank you too for your time and heart felt comment. Yes, yes, yes, awareness is the first step to change. It is also the first pillar of my TJSeMethod:ALARM -Awarness – and how to use it to consciously re-engineer reality. That is the engineer in me that wanted to solve problems I, others and humanity is having. To bring together the two worlds many treat as separate, the spiritual and the material, science and spirituality. Somethign that put me on a path to write many more books after I published the first one and kept me focus in delivering more empowering content for all who are called to grow and reach their fullest potential. Love and Wisdom.

  3. Wonderful words of wisdom, my friend!!!…

    one of my favorite parts of this piece was the following quote:

    “The mind has a way of numbing us out of our awareness so that we can continue living our lives unaware of how our outer reality is simply a reflection of what is happening inside us.”

    I know, from personal experience, that when I finally “chose” to become aware/stopped living in denial about certain things, my outer reality did a complete 180…🤩🤩🤩

    Thanks for sharing this marvelous message…I believe ALL who read this will benefit and find value—people living their most authentic lives, included…🙏❤️🙏❤️

    Hugs and Smiles ✌️💕🤗