Compromise And Tolerance

“Compromise and tolerance are magic words. It took me 40 years to become philosophical.”

Both compromise and tolerance keep drawing a lot of attention from those that matter. There are successful individuals that find merit in these traits and then we have the opposite view of the rough and tough leaders and entrepreneurs that believe these words represent the weakness of character and/or leadership. No matter which one you believe, there are situations where either of the two views must take precedence over the other.

You may not tolerate a law that allows a first-time vandal let go of, after damaging your car. At the same time, would you be equally harsh on a kid that leaves a botch mark on the hood of the same car while playing street hockey? Chances are more than fair you would be open to a compromise if the damage is rectified by the child’s parents and/or guardian.  There could be any number of such scenarios.

The same holds true in the lives of everyone else, from a politician to an entrepreneur, from a daily-wage earner to a ‘C’ Suite Executive, from a policeman to any other government official. Situations keep arising where your hard and fast rules need to be bent a little to favor a specific entity, or to arrive at an important goalpost. There would be hardly any human being alive, on the face of the earth that never ever made a slight compromise with anyone or any situation, just to gain a little, even if it be a momentary peace of mind.

‘The Oak and the Reed’ is a fable by Aesop about two trees in a storm. They deal with the contrasting behavior of the oak, which trusts in its strength to withstand the storm and is blown over, and the reed that ‘bends with the wind’ and so survives: “A reed before the wind lives on, while mighty oaks do fall.” – Aesop’s Fables

Tolerance of risk is a virtue that every individual must master for continued growth. Those that fail to do so often end up taking on high-risk assignments that result in failure. Being risk-averse is not always the best option as returns get minimized, but knowing your own risk-taking capacity sure helps. This is where your tolerance-level comes into play. Let us learn what makes Nick immensely successful:

“I’m not the smartest guy you’ve ever met or the hardest-working. I was a mediocre student. I’m not technical at all – I can’t write a word of code. What sets me apart, I think, is a tolerance for risk and an intuition about what will happen in the future. Seeing where things are headed is the essence of entrepreneurship.” – Nick Hanauer, an American entrepreneur, and venture capitalist.

We all want and dearly desire that practically everybody that comes into contact with us goes away happy. At the same time, we also want to make sure that we have only pleasant experiences while interacting with others. Is it really possible with a rigid approach where we are unwilling to compromise on certain issue/s or to tolerate some unexpected, spur-of-the-moment behavior? I will let you decide!

“If everyone is happy with you, then surely you have made many compromises in your life. If you are happy with everyone, surely you have ignored many faults of others” – Anonymous

Almost always, our attitude determines how we respond to a specific objection. So long as we nurture some flexibility, tolerance becomes a given. Compromise may have been given a misnomer of a character-weakness but it does not necessarily put us in a bind given our judicious use of either/or.

“I learned the hard way that I cannot always count on others to respect my feelings, even if I respect theirs. Being a good person doesn’t guarantee that others will be good people, too. You only have control over yourself and how you choose to be as a person. As for others, you can only choose to accept them or walk away” – Anonymous

While discussing the pros and cons of Compromise and tolerance, we must also remember that neither one of them can be permanently configured in our decision-making process without some serious damage. Lack of strict adherence to well laid out rules, regulations/principles and policies can often lead to lasting damage, loss of position and/or serious strictures. Here is yet another reason: “Compromise makes a good umbrella but a poor roof.” –  James Russell Lowell, American Romantic poet, critic, editor, and diplomat

Let us now take a look at the opposite camp to see their merits of a strong, rigid approach in life, as opposed to an attitude of compromise and tolerance:

Andrew Carnegie, the Scottish-American industrialist, business magnate, and philanthropist that led the expansion of the American steel industry in the late 19th century and is often identified as one of the richest people (and richest Americans) of his time belonged to this camp. His famous quote can still be heard in the galleries of power the world over, where ruthlessness comes face-to-face with a compromise: “The ‘morality of compromise’ sounds contradictory. Compromise is usually a sign of weakness or an admission of defeat. Strong men don’t compromise, it is said, and principles should never be compromised.”

No wonder he found a great company in yet  another well-known (and not much liked) star politician Margaret Thatcher, also known as ‘The Iron Lady’ for her uncompromising nature: “If you set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing.”

Not  to be  outdone, we also have the following quote from another source that remains anonymous:
“When you have to start compromising yourself and your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you.”

In essence, we can find specific levels of justification in each approach. However, the following  words of wisdom can help us get over some of the challenges in a more congenial fashion:

“A lean compromise is better than a fat lawsuit.” – George Herbert (3 April 1593 – 1 March 1633) the famous Welsh-born poet, orator, and priest of the Church of England.

Take Your Pick and Reap the ‘Rewards’!