Common Steps In Healing

The road to healing has similar views but rarely shares the same path.

Many of us have, at times, wished several of life’s challenges were a bit simpler or that their solutions would reveal themselves more easily. Yet, when some of those seemingly insurmountable tasks were faced and overcome, it instilled within us a feeling of tremendous joy and accomplishment. This is the conundrum humans have been facing since the dawn of our species.

One of those challenges which will forever be perceived as a difficult and nearly impossible struggle is emotional healing. But just as in any other triumph, the sense of joy, accomplishment, and pride when victorious is unforgettable and lifechanging.

I have had the privilege of helping and empowering many to work through their abuses and difficulties which ultimately ignites a transformative process and creates a completely different outlook on the future. Each one of them, however, experienced it in different ways. There were similarities but because we are all unique, so are our paths to healing.

Examining what those commonalities are may provide some insight for those currently in this journey but perhaps feel hindered or face a fork in the road and are not quite clear what the next step is.

The first commonality is that it’s rarely an easy task. Secondly, it’s painful because it involves recalling certain memories which quite frankly, most of us have been spending our lives trying to forget. It also requires a choice to begin that process which no doubt will be one of the best choices you will ever make.

While there may have been physical damage, the emotional abuse was – and remains – a mental issue. The psychological effects were greatly influenced by the way we thought about and continue to interpret those incidents. I am definitely not downplaying the severity of anyone’s abuse nor in any way implying the abused is at fault. Nonetheless, the emotional portion of the damage ended up in our heads because of our own thinking.

Another similarity is the way we responded to those devastating events. If you have ever told yourself that you probably deserved them or asked what you did to deserve it, you are not alone. I cannot recall any of my clients who did not do that. And as someone who also experienced that commonality, I will tell you with complete certainty that this way of thinking is the biggest cause of our emotional abuse.

Ironically, it’s also one of the simplest and most empowering struggles to overcome and renew our healing process. First of all, you NEVER did anything to deserve exploitation or cruelty. With that understanding, it becomes easier to move forward by first forgiving yourself for ever having those thoughts. Yes. It is that simple – which by the way, is another commonality we share in the healing process.

Confusion during our journey is another mutual occurrence but determination will help you through it. If you do have any questions about how you can become victorious over yours, please don’t hesitate to contact me.


John Dunia
John Dunia
John has a passion; and that is helping others heal from past difficulties and abuses. Healing became important when he realized how much it freed him from his own past and now works to help others experience that liberation. The key to his success was discovering that the most debilitating damage was his own shame and the destructive things he believed about who he was. Throughout his own healing journey, he became hyper-aware of how shame was affecting him while having little clue of its presence. Others noticed these changes and reached out to him for help. His methods were so effective that he made it a mission to shift his career into helping others. Adopting the term “ShameDoctor”, he continues to teach others to empower themselves through his remarkably effective techniques. “Shame is one of the biggest yet least talked about issues we face as individuals and society yet so very little is mentioned about it.” It is his purpose to change the way the world perceives shame and promote helpful and viable techniques to heal and overcome those past struggles. John’s book, “Shame On Me – Healing a Life of Shame-Based thinking” was self-published in 2016. In addition to working with clients, John also writes healing and insightful articles each week. He is also looking forward to speaking on the topics of shame and healing throughout the globe.

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