Each individual is different; unique. We entered the world without thought as to who we were or what we wanted to be, or what we would become. From just a few weeks old to infants we develop our own unique personalities.
Some individuals will stand out, as beacons of enterprise, leadership, musical prowess, and so on. Even at a relatively young age, they possess a tendency to be able to gather kids around as if a magnet. Humor and laughter, stories to tell. In any group there will be an individual who smiles, has a sense of humor, and attracts attention. Others more serious and tend to be a little more reserved.
Some will disappear into anonymity; making no waves, but perhaps perfectly happy living a ‘low-key’ existence.
Are we reflections of what we have been assigned to accomplish? To invent, to pacify, invigorate, energize, or to lead in some way.? To be in the driver’s seat, or take a back seat and happily be one of life’s passengers?
Where a really unpleasant event visits; traumatic life-changing or more, at the time we will wonder why. What have we done to deserve such an experience? Consequently, it may be months or years hence that a reason becomes apparent. Could this be connected? A coincidence? Had we not experienced such trauma, a revitalized relationship or supreme business opportunity would never have materialized
To enjoy an ultimate ideal, perhaps experiencing trauma or negativity ensures gratitude and appreciation when the light does eventually shine upon an individual. Such a strange element of life; to seemingly endure stress, anxiety, and trauma in order that an ideal situation be visited upon in months years’ to come.
Looking back on events, realizing that coincidence is too easy a word. It would of course be impossible to see any future connection. When trauma visits, a new, bright future opportunity would not be visible, considered remotely possible. Especially if it happens say in a year’s time or more. We cannot foretell
Ultimately, should an individual be compassionate, caring, selfless, and kind, it would seem strange to endure trauma or loss. But again, that person could potentially have enhanced abilities where an even greater sense of ‘duty’ would be an automatic result. Helping people, reaching out to those perceived as needing a helping hand.
Perhaps a subliminal desire to reward others following trauma or loss. Some people are ‘born’ to be givers; people that have a sense of vocation. Nurses and medical staff don’t tend to do what they do for financial benefit; more of a vocation. Essentially to give.
Looking back on life’s events, have you suffered a really bad experience in life, but eventually realize that had you not suffered experienced, you would not now be in a situation where life could not be better all around? Easy in hindsight of course, but very often, this is the case. A change in direction following a bad experience; employer going bust….only to realize that had that not happened, future benefits would not have been realized.
We can take ‘the good life’ for granted. When younger there may be feelings of envy or jealously as we witness others succeeding; better at sports, school exams, vacations with moms and dads; as if anything and everything seems to attract benefits when another individual could be experiencing the opposite. This is life.
Upbringing can of course have a negative, neutral or positive effect. Parents who believe in motivating their kids (not in a tough pushy manner) and instilling the belief that everything is possible, yes you’ll fail sometimes, but learn from such experiences. Glass ceiling? What on earth is that!? Kids brought up not to ‘recognize’ a glass ceiling; a built-in strength will be unlimited in their aspirations.
Perhaps they experience a strange type of ‘limit’ to their desire for advancement, but if they are genuinely qualified; experience, corporate know-how regarding specific sectors and have a suitable ‘personality’ or character in line with a potential employer’s aims, any hint of limitations, would vanish. I have heard the phrase ‘glass floor’!
In conclusion, it tends to be when we look back at challenging situations, decades, years, or months ago, there seems to be a reason. Whether divine intervention or being in the wrong place at the wrong time to create a right place at the right time in the future
It is said that there is no such thing as coincidence. I tend to support that opinion.
Comments would be most welcome.
Simon, you gift us with sage insights and beg us to ponder and reflect.
Thank you for your comments. I am honored indeed.
I don’t think it matters so much if events are coincidences or preordained. It matters more if we later can draw on experiences, good or bad, in a way that furthers relationships, healing, and growth of whatever kind.
What I read into your words, Simon, is that if something that we would rather have been without happened, but 10 years later we can use what we felt/learned/experienced to help somebody else, it attaches a meaning to the event that it didn’t have originally.
But only if we use it for that purpose which requires that we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and don’t try to hold on to a persona of being all successful.
All other things even, are our “learning experiences” something we shamefully hide and only use as a guide not to step into the same mess again, or something we use to build connections when others need a friendly ear or a helping hand?
Thank you for your comments; so much appreciated. You are correct in many ways. I think what can happen is someone does suffer for example s loss, or is fired from an employer, it will be challenging; tough. Coincidence or not, sometimes such an experience paved the way to an ideal that ( debatable of course) would not have materialized should a particular experience took place. Sometimes there is a connection, other times not. In an email I will describe a story that has many coincidences and turned out wonderfully.
Thank you again, Charlotte,
Excellent article, Simon, that brings up critical points of awareness for today and tomorrow. There is a whole gamut of experience, from totally passive to world-changing. Every one is just as important, though their roles may be different. In my cognitive research and study, there is a unique form, fit and function of the mind/body/spirit in the world that is elusive for most. Some, like me, have been able to distill the inquiry into bite-sized chunks for my clients and those close to me. I love the work and our transcendence from the times of tragedy with this fallacious narrative being forced down the fearful, naïve and trusting creatures (you know them) is forthcoming. I’m so happy and humbled to Be Here Now.
I really am most grateful for your comments/analysis. We can of course only look back and see if there’s a connection. All one can say when going through a bad patch is hopefully life will get better.
Thank you so much Zen. So much appreciated.