by Chris Noffz, Guest Contributor
[su_dropcap style=”flat”]H[/su_dropcap]AVE YOU EVER WONDERED what the differences are between hearing and listening? For me hearing is a biological act of ensuring safety. We hear the sound of our dog barking which alerts us to a stranger at the door. The honking car alerts us to look out! We hear the tick of the clock, the hum of the dishwasher but we quickly stop listening because we label it as noise. Hearing is performed mostly in our sub-conscious.
When we listen we engage our brain to connect with others; we are able to obtain a deeper understanding of another’s views, values, thoughts, and dreams. When we actively listen, we tap into our senses; we can feel, see, and at times taste what the other person is sharing. You know what I mean…your mouth waters when someone shares a detailed story about a great sounding meal.
Listening is a conscience effort that takes focus and hard work but the payoff is immeasurable!!!
There is an analogy called channel 1 and channel 2 listening which helps us to understand the power of deep listening. Channel 1 listening is when we listen to respond – I’ve also heard it called STAN listening (Sh*t, That, Ain’t Nothin’!) Most of us practice channel one listening within our career and our relationships. We listen so that we can tell our own story, perspective, or opinion. We all know people who when we are done speaking they share a bigger more inflated story to trump yours. Channel 2 listening is very different from channel 1 listening. Channel 2 is empathic listening.
Did you know that 55% of our communication is conveyed through our body language, 38% through the tone of our voice, and only 7% of communication is the actual words we speak. That means that 93% of all communication is exchanged non-verbally! The first time I heard these stats I thought to myself so that’s why Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus! 🙂 If we aren’t good at reading these queues we may be missing some of the intended message. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.”
Channel 2 listening is the ability to consciously be aware of our own bias’ and judgments; to be present by mentally removing distractions around us. It is maintaining eye contact, keeping an open mind, and not jumping to conclusions as someone is talking. It is also the ability to maintain a curious mindset so our questions can continue dialogue and deepen our understanding of what the other person is intending to convey. One of the most sincere forms of respect a person can give is to actually listen to what another person has to say. I believe this is true.
After a successful 30-year career in banking, Chris left her position as an executive to follow her passion and life purpose to become a professional coach. She has coached and mentored many young leaders who went on to lead successful professional and personal lives. By leaving the constraints of corporate life, she could now contribute to the world in new and positive ways – to make a real difference in others’ lives by sharing her life’s knowledge and skills through coaching.
Chris is passionate about inspiring and empowering people to live the life of their choosing. She partners with clients to create a new vision of their future, to break through obstacles that are blocking them from achieving results, identify action steps for attaining desired goals, and to manage and adapt to an ever-changing environment. She helps clients to see and articulate their natural strengths, their life’s purpose (their “why”), and to build actionable goals to achieve success.
Chris also writes a weekly blog about personal mastery concepts. She is committed to practicing these concepts and believes they guide life’s principles, purpose, values, beliefs and our personal vision. It is an introspective dedication to knowing and having an intimate relationship with ourselves – we can only control our own thoughts, actions and behaviors.
