I feel moved to share something about my past relationship with a man I “dated” on and off for seven years in the mid-1990s and, subsequently, spent 30 years hating him because of how our relationship ended.
Although he tried to stay in touch with me after we ended, I refused any communication because I harbored intense anger toward him all those decades since. Every time I thought about him, I felt rage.
And then, like many of us have, we reconnected on Facebook about six years ago. He had reached out to me, and by then, I was a little curious about what had happened to him.
At first, I was still hostile and angry toward him. But I discovered it seemed that he had changed. But I was skeptical, very skeptical.
But then I thought about how much I had changed.
Was it really possible that someone could change enough to now be a good friend? I questioned silently. I decided to give him a chance.
As I got to know his new self, it turned out he had evolved and grown. Now, we are close friends, and I can talk to him about pretty much everything. He sometimes, amazingly, gives me wise advice.
And when I hear someone say people do not change, I do not agree.
I’ve seen people in my life evolve and change.
I’ve also witnessed people I’ve known for 66 years be exactly who they were 66 years ago, not for good.
Change is possible if we want it. We don’t have to stay stuck in the same old cycles and patterns. We can transform and become new…once we understand who we are and what is required to grow and want to do so.
We do not have to be our past. We do not have to be our mistakes. We do not have to be the identity of the “bad” things we’ve done.
We can transform if we choose. We can become a better human. We can evolve beyond who we once were.