Can Civility Be A Competitive Advantage?

What is the common ground?

In order to build a common ground, there must be trust. With this trust comes the understanding that:

• Conflict and debate have value and are constructive.
• Confrontation and conflict in and of themselves are not toxic.
• Productive conflict pools people and ideas toward the common goal.
• Open dialogue
• Conversation, debate, compromise, mutually agreed courses of action

What is the Underground?

The less people understand how their hard work adds value to bigger goals, the less engaged they are. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure and frustration. – Brene Brown – Dare to Lead. This creates the underground.

• Lack of trust
• Festering and silence – sit on the sidelines and wait for failure.
• Win/lose mindset
• Parties come into dialogue with closed minds.
• Confrontation must be defeated.
• Personal attacks

What is the battleground?

When confrontation/competition attacks the value of a person the battleground is created:

• Negative cliques and alliances develop
• Labeling (villain, victim, there is nothing I can do)
• Planning mass exodus
• Misuse of confidential information
• Water cooler and at bar discussions dominate opinions
• Getting ready for battle—sabotage, passive resistance, legal action, etc.

Where do you stand as an organization?

Per Gallup, two-thirds of workers are unhappy with their jobs and 15 percent actually hate their work. 81% of people are NOT in the common ground. Your organization is or will soon be dysfunctional. The challenge is how do you move from underground and battleground to common ground.

Four Key Components to Establish Common Ground

In the bestselling book Crucial Conversations, the author’s research states that “People will believe you are working toward a common ground in the workplace when leadership shows they care about their goals, interest, and value.” – Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler – Crucial Conversations

1. Are we connected?
2. Do we have a future?
3. Do we care about each other’s goals, interests, and values?
4. Is there trust?

Challenges to Common Ground?

The illusion of technique. Far too many managers ask the wrong questions which misplaces their focus. They become fixated with constantly changing the process or procedures. This is too often a knee jerk reaction, which is similar to a farmer constantly re-plowing the same field every day. Rather than focusing on changing the techniques consider changing the dialogue.

• Misplaced focus.
• Constant changing of processes and procedures.
• Change for the sake of change.
• Throw multiple theories against the wall.
• Trying for the quick fix – “Give me pill to cure this.”

Getting to Common Ground

High performing cultures are more than a great product or design or strategy. They have developed a safe environment. It has less to do with design than with connecting to deeper emotions: fear, ambition, and motivation. The real power of a successful interaction is located in the two-way emotional signaling that creates an atmosphere of connection that surrounds the conversation. – Daniel Coyle – The Culture Code

Something to consider: Words matter. How we think and talk about ourselves affects our self-image. Once we change our “self-talk,” we will be better able to interact positively with others. – Don Miguel Ruiz – The Four Agreements

• Building the groundwork – There is no quick cure.
• Like building a garden – it is going to take time and effort.
• You are going to get dirty.
• It is hard work.
• It is constant attention and nurturing.
• Constant review/monitoring

Common Ground and Civility as a Competitive Advantage

One misconception about highly successful cultures is that they are happy, lighthearted places. This is mostly NOT the case. They are energized and engaged, but at their core, their members are oriented less around achieving happiness than around solving hard problems together. – Daniel Coyle – The Culture Code

The pool of shared meaning is the birthplace of synergy. Not only does a share pool help individuals make better choices, but since the meaning is shared, people willingly act on whatever decision they make with both unity and conviction. – Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler – Crucial Conversations

When you create an environment where people are energized and engaged, where they feel their ideas and input are valued, you will have the common ground where the civility within your organization will lead you to unprecedented success.

Call us, we’ll help you.
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From the soon to be released book – The Secret To Walking On Water Is To Know Where the Rocks Are! By Frank Zaccari