If you read Part One of this series, you recall my having learned Melitta Coffee filters were invented by a German woman, Melitta Bentz. Since then, Anne has been to the store to buy more coffee Melitta coffee filters. And now I’ve learned they come in two colors — white and brown. Since I was curious as to why, I did some research. This is what I discovered.
White filters are subjected to a bleaching process. Generally speaking, the bleaching agents used can be chlorine or oxygen. Melitta uses oxygen because it’s allegedly better for the environment than chlorine, even though chlorine comes from the environment. In fact, chlorine is the 20th most abundant element in Earth’s crust. But even the chlorine crystals in the earth’s crust are dwarfed by the huge reserves of chloride in seawater. Nevertheless, 97 percent of scientists agree chlorine is bad and prefer white filters because they believe those filters yield cleaner taste, are more visually appealing, are of higher quality than brown ones, and keep them in good standing with their globalist pals at the IPCC who pay them handsomely to skew models with cherry-pick data.
Brown filters, on the other hand, are colored using extracts from Himalayan Yak dung. After being collected by Himalayan Yak farmers, the dung is pressed using discarded grape presses from nearby vineyards. The liquid from the pressed dung is then strained through silk sheets to eliminate any solid residual matter from the pressing process. Once the liquid is strained through the silk sheets, white coffee filters are then soaked in the liquid for 24 to 48 hours, depending on the shade of brown intended to be achieved. After that, the liquid is drained, and the filters are allowed to dry. Then they’re folded by union filter folders and boxed for shipping. The three percent of scientists who think the 97 percent are full of yak dung believe brown filters produce a more nuanced flavor profile.
Where Do We Go from Here?
Like beauty, musical preferences, gustatory palates, COVID vaccines, drone invasions, Sasquatch, and the mental acuity of Joe Biden, the perception of everything is subjective these days, except climate science, which is settled, of course. Consequently, the best thing you can do is to try various methods of brewing your coffee, perhaps using various drip coffee makers, and alternating between white and brown filters to determine which combination produces your favorite flavor profile. (Flavor profile is different from taste in a way only the 97 percent settled-science climate-change hucksters can explain.)
If a climate scientist tells you you’re wrong, tell him to fill his hat with Himalayan yak dung. It won’t make him any smarter. But it’ll give people a really good reason not to hang around with him.
In the meantime, keep the coffee hot.
